Cosmic Bullsh*t

The University of Cosmic Intelligence?

This is DEF what I’m gonna name my next band/flock of pigeons/cloud of bats/pod of orcas/whatevs.

A half-dozen people in Missouri who were reported missing in August are believed to have been lured into a cult led by a convicted child molester, police said. (source)

The cult? The University of Cosmic Intelligence. It’s run by a social media influencer, rapper, purported prophet and general whackaloon, named Rashad Jamal.

Jamal runs a website aimed at racial minorities called the University of Cosmic Intelligence, which peddles conspiracy theories – including “the truth” about aliens invading a Miami shopping mall. The group calls Earth the planet Ki, and members refer to themselves as the Grand Cosmic Rising Family. (source)

Jamal and his followers believe that they are demigods descended from aliens. Okay then. Apart from the de rigueur child abuse bit, I suppose there are worse cults to be sucked into. Fer instance there’s the sprawling and violently unhinged MAGAts.

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In case you were unaware, Monday was the 105th anniversary of the Great Molasses Flood. The treacle tsunami happened in Boston’s North End on January 15th of 1919. A storage tank collapsed sending more than two million gallons of molasses deluging through the Italian section of the city. 21 people died, drowned in syrup.

According to reports, the resulting wave of molasses was 15 to 40 feet (5 to 12 metres) high and some 160 feet (49 metres) wide. Traveling at approximately 35 miles (56 km) per hour, it destroyed several city blocks, leveling buildings and damaging automobiles. (source)

Reports claim that Boston smelled like molasses for years after. Coulda been worse—what if a tank of spoiled cole slaw had exploded?
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Jen and I, more or less, went through menopause at the same time. This was good in that we could totally relate to all the weird shit we both were experiencing. Specifically, hot flashes. Inevitably, as we were drove home from work, we’d be rolling down the windows in rapid, synchronized motion. We were the hot-flashing Rockettes of commuters.  

Lately, even though we’re both years and years past menstruation, we’ve each been waking at stupid early hours of the morning, sweating enough to soak our jammies. 2AM and I need to strip, shower and don summer sleepwear?

WHAT the motherfucking fuck!? When does this shit end? This is SO not fair! Who designed women’s internal workings? IF there is a god I’m guessing it’s male and he’s just like his christofascist creators—a woman-hater.

I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER!!!