Hurricane

 Well, it seems Florida had a wickedly hard night. On top of Hurricane Milton making landfall (as a Category 3 hurricane) at least 19 tornadoes were reported. Christ almighty!

On the Atlantic coast police say there have been a number of deaths at a leisure resort after several tornadoes touched down in the space of 20 minutes. (source)

There were folks at a leisure resort with a giant hurricane predicted? Maybe it’s just me but I would NEVER visit Florida during hurricane season. Okay, honestly? I‘d never visit the state anyway. Between their dipshit power-mad, assholian governor, the negligent heed to building codes and safety standards, Florida Man and, oh yeah, alligators. Do I really need to be around 500 pound lizards who can run 20 mph (faster than me!)? No. No, I do not. Sure, we have sharks living in the water off Massachusetts but, hells bells, they stay in the water and I stay out of it (apart from a bit of wading). We don’t have creatures up here who are so tough and fierce that they've outsurvived the dinosaurs.

Speaking of creatures, Milton hit just south of the zoo in Tampa. I haven’t found any updates but, from a Reuters story (posted at 1AM), it sounds like the animals were as protected and cared for as possible. They were put in hurricane-hardened buildings.

After millions of people were ordered to flee along Florida’s Gulf Coast, the African elephants, Caribbean flamingos, pygmy hippos and about 1,000 other animals were riding out the monstrous Hurricane Milton at Tampa’s zoo.
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The dozen zoo keepers riding out the storm with their furry and feathered charges include a veterinarian and maintenance workers.

The zoo is supplied with generators and fuel, along with extra food and supplies for all the critters, in case the zoo is cut off. (source)

In the book of Things I Would Not Need to be Told:

Pinellas County issued a stern warning to residents Thursday after Hurricane Milton left the county in shambles.

“ALL RESIDENTS REMAIN SHELTERED. SEVERE DAMAGES COUNTYWIDE,” the emergency alert read. (source)

If I’d been unable to evacuate, I sure as hell would’ve made sure all anticipated supplies were in house IN ADVANCE. Also, I wouldn’t be engaged in any disaster sightseeing. Hey, maybe that’s just me though.

Pre-touchdown, a radar scientist and storm chaser, who had died in ’23 of a stroke had his remains appropriately released.

On Tuesday, Oct. 8, 20 of his colleagues in the NOAA’s “Hurricane Hunters” paid tribute to his legacy by dropping his ashes into the eye of Hurricane Milton, about 300 miles southwest of Florida.
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Former coworker and longtime meteorologist Jeff Masters told USA Today that Dodge “understood hurricanes better or as good as anyone alive.” Masters told the outlet that Dodge’s burial is the fourth time in the past 50 years a meteorologist’s ashes have been dropped into the eye of a hurricane. (source)

I’m curious—how the fuck do you dump ashes into the eye of a hurricane without getting yourself killed? How did anyone figure out that this could be safely done? AND doesn't this mean, as the ashes are dispersed in tumultuous air, that little Dodge bits, pieces and dust could conceivably float down into your morning coffee? So much for having go-juice on your deck or balcony, eh?

Under the banner of Missed Opportunities, three hours ago (as I write this at 8AM EST), a tornado was reported just fifteen miles from Crazy Donnie’s tatty golf motel and home for plastic surgery addicts. Sadly, it seems to have failed to connect with its target. Possibly von ShitzinPants was wielding his magic Sharpie again?

Hurricane—Bob Dylan