How’m I Doin’?

From the Fun With Meds chronicles, I’m having a hell of a times with my recently upped Chill the Shaking pills.

Why do I shake? I have essential tremor.

Essential tremor is a nervous system condition, also known as a neurological condition. It causes rhythmic shaking that you can't control. ...The trembling occurs especially when doing simple tasks, such as drinking from a glass or tying shoelaces.

Essential tremor usually is not a dangerous condition. However, it typically worsens over time and can be severe for some people. …essential tremor sometimes is confused with Parkinson's disease. (source)

My trembling? It's mostly my head and hands and can get intense. Imagine trying to read or watch a closed captioned movie (deaf here) or television show when your head won’t stop pinging to and fro. FYI, it’s not fun.

If you’re a regular reader, you know that my nervous system is an unholy mess. I have Neurofibromatosis Type 2—an uncommon genetic condition that results in the development of multiple brain tumors and spinal tumors. 

Since my last brain tumor excavation (in May of '24), the tremors have gotten worse. Stands to reason—I’ve had three bean ops in the past five years (out of a lifetime total of seven) AND I’m an elderly broad now. Post op, I don’t snap back as quickly as when I was a dewy, young thing of 40.

I contacted my neurologist, the one who deals with movement disorders (Dr. Goodheart—yes, that really is her name. It’s apt and she’s awesome!). Doc G upped my daily dose of Chill the Shaking meds. Great? Quelled the quivering?

Eh, sort of. Not by a lot. So, she upped them again. What happened? I was still shaking, still having to hold ma tête (or semi recline with my head on a pillow) to read, watch the telly or put food in my cake-hole.

The drug was having some effect. Sadly though, I began feeling a fuckton of fatigue. NOT good. I need all the energy in the world to fuel my forever (or so it seems) rehabbing efforts. All the strength and balance work I’m doing is so I can walk reasonable distances again without falling AND maybe one day even stroll sans rollator.

In short, my goals are: 

• Regain strength and mobility.
• Stop quaking like a bobblehead doll on black beauties.
• Be able to eat ALL the cake in the world without gaining weight. Okay, this “goal” is only kinda, sorta pertinent.

Here’s my question:
Is the radical fatigue due to the upped Chill the Shaking dosage or is it from reading and stressing over the news? Could it be a little of both?

I stopped taking the extra pill a couple weeks ago. The tiredness subsided but the intense shaking came back. Joy.

Doc G has told me that stress does exacerbate the wild twitching. Great, amongst all their other crimes, the Musk/Trump/Vance monster is fucking with my efforts to not vibrate like a washer on the spin cycle.

Where do I go from here?

• Email Goodheart and tell her what up.
• Boost my deep breathing and other relaxation routines.
• Treat my at home rehab exercises as meditation versus work, work, work.
• Find a more fun, calming book to read.
• STOP doomscrolling.
• Start taking the lesser upped dose of the Anti Shake meds again.

I truly hate it when my banjaxed body problems don't have a single, clean cause.