Small Talk

I’ve never been good at chit chat. In fact, I find a lot of the standard US small talk offensive.

What do you do for a living?

If I say ‘I’m a cashier at Walmart’ most folks are going to form an opinion of me that’ll be less than flattering. Being a garbage collector will garner cringes. Working in a copy center or pressroom? Eh, at least I’m employed. If I tell you I’m a lawyer, a school teacher, a nurse, a journalist, a lab tech? More likely there'll be interest and/or respect.

There’s no room in the what do you do question for me. I just wanted a somewhat interesting gig that would pay my bills and give me art supply and travel money.

Are you married?
Do people even ask this anymore? So may of us prefer to just live together. The gigantic hoopla over wedding is just commercialized, money making, soulless, corporate horseshit. Given the cost of houses, raising a kid (if that’s your thing), and just existing in America, who the fuck can afford a wedding? Even if you go the justice of the peace route, wouldn’t it make more sense to just have a nice legal agreement and continue to live in sin?

Do you have children?
Women are judged on our reproductive choices no matter what. If we choose to have them but fail to have perfect June Cleaver/Clair Huxtable/Morticia Addams lives and families, we’re, at best, disappointments. If we choose NOT to have children we’re selfish eccentrics or loners to be pitied and not entirely trusted. If we can’t have children – OH, HUGE condescending sympathy. Your life must be an absolute misery!

I truly hate this question. Not only did I not want kids but, thanks to Nf2, I was strongly advised to never get up the spout. No problem. I never wanted anyone’s patronizing, if well-meaning, pity.

Better conversation starters?

Skeleton Claw

Do you remember your dreams? If so, is there a general repeating theme. Fer instance, I often find myself traveling from one place to another – struggling to make my way through messy, rubble strewn construction sites.

Do you have any hobbies or an avocation – something you’re passionate about?
Me? It was painting and ceramics. Also, music, especially live shows. Now? Blogging?

What would you do if you didn’t have to work for a living? My current Primary Care Physician is retiring. She’s healthy, financially well off and is free to do whatever she wants. She’s going to travel the world and write about it. Sounds awesome!  

This inspires so many follow up questions. Pretty much any response would though. Even if the person just replied ‘go fishing,’ I’d want to know: where, for what sorts of fish, what does a perfect fishing day entail, do you eat the fish you catch or catch and release?

Apparently I come from ultra stern stock.

What song(s) gets stuck in your head most often?

If you got to choose your own name, what would it be and why?

Ruby, for my father’s mother who Daddy, Grandpa (her husband), and my Aunt Mary Ann often compared me. How about you?

Who did you vote for in 1980, 2020, 2024 and why? Do you regret it?

These are Pandora’s Box type questions. If a person says they voted for Reagan or Trump AND don’t regret it – HOO BOY.

I would just have to walk away. At this point, I don't have the patience and diplomacy.