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| Forest Troll (1890), Theodor Kittelsen |
One dimwit got caught in the moderation filter earlier this past week. He’s apparently new to the game and didn’t understand that his comments wouldn’t automatically show up. (trolls are usually, but not always, of the penis owning variety of human) He kept commenting the same angry drivel to a few of my posts. This angry anonymous commenter (gotta be anonymous – god forbid you stand behind your proud bigotry and infantile rage) was a tiresome combo of a debate-me-bro and a sealioner.
You know the debate-me-bros. They’re the folks who are always looking for a fight. “Debate” (their idea of one – "bloodsport argument" might be a better descriptive) is a game to be won, not an honest exchange of ideas. They’re coming into the “conversation” (and I use that word here ultra loosely) like a gladiator entering the coliseum. For them, this is a dominance play.
My brain’s bigger than yours! My facts stay hard longer than yours!
I don’t have the time or interest in these insecure kid’s dick measuring games. Go play with your mother.
SLIGHTLY more sophisticated but every bit as a childishly pestiferous are the sealioners.
Sealioning is a form of trolling where a person, pretending sincerity, relentlessly asks for proof or clarification (which they never accept) in order to grind their opponent/victim into goldfish granules.
The person posing the questions appears, at least at first, to be genuine – like they’re really interested in your point of view and the knowledge you can share. They’re polite and civil...adult even. It’s a cheap ass fake. Don’t buy it.
The "sealioner" will keep asking the same questions, slightly rephrased, even after you’ve fully responded. They’re moving the goalposts, shifting the playing field. 
They’re playing a mashup of Calvinball (without the exuberant, surreal, chaotic fun) and Battleship but you think, in the beginning anyway, you’re having a conversation and exchange of ideas.
How do you recognize and avoid this particular brand of disingenuous debater? You know, someone who comes on with the nicey-nice, white bread sincerity of a door to door mormon or jehovah’s witnesses god salesman but is actually an imbecilic, time wasting, rabid wolf (NOT to diss imbecilic, time wasting rabid wolves, mind you).
Does it seem like they’re not listening to your responses? Do they seem to deliberately misconstrue your answers? It’s because they've a script in their heads they're following. What you're saying is irrelevant. You could be a quacking duck. They’re just waiting for you to become terminally annoyed and give up. They can then claim victory. It’s all a game, an ego boost for them.
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So then, I review comments before I set them free into the magical interwebz. I will NOT be engaging in anyone’s masturbatory right-wing warrior fantasies. Also, go do your laundry and stop eating so much junk food – it’ll make your puny pizzle even tinier, and dude, it’s verging on microscopic now.
I recognize the troll types. Another type I've seen is the one (maybe they're bots?) who'll steal another commenter's name. And finally, there's the "secret right wing" ones who comment on non-political blogs about comic books or old movies or whatever, and can't help to share their hatred of all things liberal.
ReplyDeleteI've been lucky enough not to see those. I tend to avoid comment sections that I know aren't really moderated though. There's only so much unhinged right wing outrage (that's redundant, I know) that I can tolerate in one sitting.
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