Has It Happened Yet?

Folks online yesterday were taking bets as to when we’ll get the news we’re all eagerly anticipating – the first sign of light in this disgusting stank-ass,  embarrassing world. I think what might have set off the betting was the big bruise on his right hand. He’s obviously getting a LOT of infusions (the blood of 13 year old blonde, blue eyed virgins?) to keep him looking as lifelike as possible. At this point, a somewhat melty, amateur wax model of him would look more vibrantly robust.

An aside: Back in March of 2021, at a hokey roadside attraction “museum” in San Antonio, Texas, there was a wax figure of the pedophile president. Apparently so many museum visitors had punched it in the face that it had to be removed for repairs and repainting. The article says it had been moved to storage. No word as to whether it’s back on display now.  

Now then, once we’re relieved of the odoriferous orange con, are we in the clear? Nope. While peak racist, misogynist, and general hate fever will weaken without its biggest cheerleader, Miller, Noem, RFK jr., Kegseth, Patel, et al will still be in place. They’re faithful renfields who dance to Project 2025’s tune.

Jesse Duquette

And who will put the needle down on that record’s grooves? Why, that’ll be every billionaire’s best little boy. You remember him – the always arrogant, perpetually snide, condescending, socially incompetent VP. 

One of my favorite cartoonists, Jesse Duquette, referred to him recently as the performatively bearded charm vacuum J.D. Vance. Yup, that’s him. Other aliases I’ve heard? Vacay Vance, VP Many Names, James Donald Bowman, White House Wanker, JD CouchFuck. 

I’ve also heard him referred to as a weapons grade bell end. I believe this was during his recent holiday (the eighth in his seven months as VP) in the Cotswolds.

Jesse Duquette

The hate machine, the campaign to crush everyone who isn’t white, male, rich, het, and physically healthy will continue, just not quite so flamboyantly and lit up in neon lights. Ya see, there’s no successor to Stinky’s throne of dimwitted, gold painted, reality gameshow thuggishness.

The hate machine needs a leader to hold it together, to shape it, to give it direction, to tell it who to hate next. None of Sphincter Face’s children inherited his sleazebaggian “charm” and only Ivanka is at his level of grifter hell. The rest of the them? Nah. Even ‘Vanky, without all the plastic work, would just be another rich, dipshit, Trump spawn. 

There’s no one else in Trump’s immediate orbit to take on the crown either. Why not? The greasy bastard couldn’t share the spotlight with anyone. Give up a minute to someone else, even if it means continuing his name into the future? Fuck no! He’s got his name on buildings and, hilariously, thinks that’s permanent. 

There’s Ron DeSantis but, frankly, he’s just plain weird, as is his wife. Too weird. Ronzo hasn’t had the benefit of the big Hollywood reality teevee transformative makeover. 

From the US News and World Report entitled We Created a Monster: Trump Was a TV Fantasy Invented for 'The Apprentice.’ 

To sell the show, we created the narrative that Trump was a super-successful businessman who lived like royalty. That was the conceit of the show. At the very least, it was a substantial exaggeration; at worst, it created a false narrative by making him seem more successful than he was.

In fact, Trump declared business bankruptcy four times before the show went into production, and at least twice more during his 14 seasons hosting. The imposing board room where he famously fired contestants was a set, because his real boardroom was too old and shabby for TV.

Trump may have been the perfect choice to be the boss of this show, because more successful CEOs were too busy to get involved in reality TV and didn’t want to hire random game show winners onto their executive teams. Trump had no such concerns. He had plenty of time for filming, he loved the attention and it painted positive picture of him that wasn’t true.

Whoever wants to take Stinky’s throne needs to go through the Hollywood myth making glam machine first. Americans, especially Republican Americans, don’t do real, actual reality very well. It’s just too icky and makes ‘em think too much and that’s hard work! YECH!