I Have a Few Complaints

Specifically about the new season of Wednesday which finally dropped after a nearly THREE year wait. 

Those prep school teens? Amazingly time was frozen for them and they’re, incredibly, STILL teens. It’s a miracle…or makeup and filters.

So that’s my first kvetch. 

Next? Wednesday’s brother Pugsley – dunno if it’s how he’s written or the actor who plays him but, mein Gott, he’s awful. He’s painfully beef-witted, has the sense of humor of a frat boy or a MAGAt (I know – same/same), and otherwise has zero redeeming qualities. A lump of moldering mashed potatoes would be more interesting to watch. 

Then there’s Wednesday’s mother who was played by the actress Catherine Zeta-Jones in season one. I had to triple check to see that Morticia Addams was still being played by the same actress in season two. I felt certain the show’s producer’s had pulled a Bewitched/Two Darrins stunt on us viewers. THAT’S how different she looks.

 Yes, Zeta-Jones still plays Morticia Addams but it’s clear she’s had serious work done. Perhaps she’s lost a bit too much weight too or maybe the weight just migrated to her lips? Honestly, she’s two steps away from the Mar-a-Lago look. Maybe this is all a show specific horror makeup job? And yet, her face barely moves when she speaks – it’s perfect for publicity stills but doesn’t work so great for moving pictures.

For me, the two best Morticias will always be Carolyn Jones and Anjelica Huston.

Wednesday’s father, played by Luis Guzmán, is photographed and/or made up to look villainously ugly but, to me, he seems to be the most wise and heroic of all the players. So, no real complaints here. Maybe he’s depicted as unattractive as some kind of lesson? A reverse take on all that glitters is not gold? 

The new principal, Barry Dort, is played by Steve Buscemi. This should be great, right? So far, he’s simply slimy and either too obviously evil or just annoyingly please-kill-him-like-a-cockroach bad. Probably more the latter than the former. He’s got nothing on season ones subtle, smart, shapeshifting Principal Weems, played by the absolutely Hitchcockian Gwendoline Christie. So, bad fit for Buscemi – he should return to his Coen Brothers/Tarantino roots.

The brilliant comic actor Christopher Lloyd is in the show but if you blink, you’ll miss him. His amazingness is completely wasted.

 In season one, the character Bianca Barclay (played by Joy Sunday) started as a mean girl but we got to know her better, we got her difficult, complicated back story. She evolved and I came to really like her. This season, she starts without a spine. Metaphorically speaking. I HATE this. It better change! Also, I’m tired of her bright blue contacts. I get that pale blue eyes against dark brown skin makes for a cool, intriguing contrast but…blue? Boring. How about green eyes or orange? 

I’m getting a bit tired of Wednesday’s near relentless dark, hardcore coldheartedness. This isn’t Vulcan stoicism – this is empathy-devoid, ruthless, self-involvement. She’s dancing on the edge of steroidal, goth Ayn Randism.

Is this how the character’s written or how the actor has chosen to play her? Maybe a bit of both? I’m not looking for some Oprah-esque, hippy groovy, kum ba yah transformation but, fer fuck’s sake, this is getting dull. A main character needs to show a wee bit of growth, some evolution if they want to keep (and build) their audience. Yes, between season one/episode one and now there’s been a few cups of growth but the pace has been pre-global warming glacial.

Having said all this, the sets, opening credits and other optical effects are brilliantly creative – just delightful. I wish the show lived up to that promise. Of course I'm gonna keep watching. Maybe it'll get better. Maybe I'll enjoy hate-watching Pugsley. Possibly he'll die gruesomely? A girl can hope.