Razor-Toothed Radishes and South Park

First off, last night I watched South Park FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME! Yes, I know, I know, the show’s been on for nearly 30 years now (it first aired on August 13, 1997 – so 28 years on Wednesday) so and Jen and Oni have been, periodically, raving about it all this time. What can I say? I’m slow to pick up on all the new, hip, flashy entertainments and shit. Hell’s bells, left to my own devices (and if I watched teevee on my own) I’d be binging Fractured Fairy Tales and Bugs Bunny (but ONLY Bugs before the Dodgers moved out of Brooklyn. When they bunked off for the West Coast the rabbit went into the toilet).

ANYWAY, Jen says I’m just a late bloomer. Yes…well…ahem…very late. Having allowed for that, I saw the two most recent episodes and OH MY STARS – TOTAL AWESOMENESS!!!

Interesting how Noem only brought up South Park’s parodying of her cosmetics obsession except she misrepresents it as them mocking her looks. 

"It never ends, but it’s so lazy, to make fun of women for how they look. Only the liberals and the extremists do that.” (source) 

Hilarious! Is she saying that her boss is a liberal?

Primero – her comic character was very pretty (for a South Park illustration) and the depiction only became unflattering when her face melted off and took on a life of its own. Mind you, this was screamingly funny, particularly when it humped around the floor like a slug on speed.

This occurred twice. Noem was instantly surrounded by a large team, a pit crew, of facial reconstructionists and cosmeticians. She was then back on the hunt for puppies and brown skinned humans. No effort was made to capture and contain her runaway face which, presumably, expired once sufficient amounts of Botox leaked out.

Segundo – Noem hasn’t uttered a single complaint about being portrayed as a trigger-happy puppy assassin. In the space of the 22 minute episode, she must have shot 20 dogs dead in the face. SO MUCH puppy blood! Not a word about that closing credits scene where she goes on a shooting spree in a pet store? I guess these bits were a little too close to reality for Killer Kristi to take issue with.

Tercio – no complaint from Cruella about her cartoon ICE squad being shown invading Heaven to kidnap dearly departed brown skinned souls from God, RIGHT IN HIS OWN GODDAMN HOME?! I guess they’d be formerly brown skinned though, huh? I mean, it’s Heaven. Spirits and souls don’t have skin, do they?

Twatzilla’s only fuss about the ep is that she thinks they picked on her looks. NO, you ruthless radish! The writers were illustrating the gaping razor-toothed chasm where your morals, compassion, and humanity SHOULD be! They were showing how you care more about your celebrity presence and physical appearance than you do about people, justice, and integrity.

Shockingly, Vacay Vance actually had a good response to his South Park depiction. Sounds too human – probably written by a staffer who doesn’t hate him. YET…

Then there’s the Trump episode which was also utter perfection. The Guardian has a good summary up.

That ep ended with a faux public service announcement with a live-action Trump crawling through the desert and removing all his clothes. White House spokesweasel Taylor Rogers responded with:

"This show hasn't been relevant for over 20 years and is hanging on by a thread with uninspired ideas in a desperate attempt for attention," the White House's statement said. "President Trump has delivered on more promises in just six months than any other president in our country's history — and no fourth-rate show can derail President Trump's hot streak.” (source)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…stop! I can’t breathe … HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

One of my favorite parts was where Jesus (!!!) urges everyone not to upset Trump any more.

“You guys saw what happened to CBS,” he whispered. “You really want to end up like Colbert? Just shut up or we’re going to be cancelled. If someone has the power of the presidency, and also has the power to sue and take bribes, then he can do anything to anyone.”

South Park’s tone, its scalpel wit, puts Monty Python in mind. Granted, I’ve only seen two episodes (so far!) but it struck me that this is what Saturday Night Live, The Simpsons, and other shows try for but rarely, if ever, hit.

Yeah, I'm hooked.