Blue Feet

Did you know? The blue-footed booby gets its name from the Spanish word “bobo,” which means silly or foolish. This is because the birds don’t seem to have much situational awareness or maybe they just like to live dangerously, on the edge and all that.

Are they like: 

• Desperately oblivious sorority ingénues going to frat parties? 
• Drunk, entitled frat boys walking down dark streets in bad neighborhoods, thinking they’re invincible? 
• ICEholes from Alabama in Minneapolis in January? Too stupid to dress properly and have a shred of humanity? 

Dunno but our blue-footed chums are certainly much, MUCH cuter then any of their too-stupid-to survive, doofus-ass brethren.

Our blue-footed amigos can be found off the Pacific coast of South America, in Mexico’s Gulf of California, and on and around the Galápagos Islands. 

I only mention it BUT Ten and I might have a wee bit in common with our friends of the blue-footed booby persuasion. Fer instance:

Babe boobies are attracted to boy boobies with a brighter color of blue feet. This is apparently an indicator of a dude’s maturity and good health – the more vibrant the feet, the healthier the bird. Waddya know, I’M more attracted to human men who aren’t afraid to rock out in brighter colors and patterns. Tie dye, paisley, Aztec, flowing art nouveau inspired prints, bright complex geometrics, BAND Ts. Yeah baby! I can dig it.

Studies have also shown that blue-footed boobies have some equitability going on. Dude boobies also prefer dames with vibrant blue feet over ones with duller-colored feet. It’s a thing.

How are Ten and I like this? Just look in our wardrobes, fer fuck’s sake. We’re def not afraid of colors and patterns.

Blue-footed courtship starts with the male giving stones and other small objects to the female booby.

I ever tell you about the time I was out visiting Ten when he still lived in Oregon? We were driving down some wooded back road. I was telling him about the lava fields in Iceland and how they blew my mind clean off. The hardened lava rock was so beautiful I wished I’d been able to take some home. Well, Ten pulls over and says he’ll be right back. He runs off into the woods. What the fuck? He came back ten minutes later with this big, handsome chunk of lava. Seems we were, coincidentally, near Lava Butte. Yes, I was so swooning.

Female boobies incorporate the gifts the male has given them into their nests. Like a pair of boobies, that big rock Ten gave me now sits on the front porch of our nest.

Blue-footed boobies are known to be clumsy on land. I mean, look at those feet – of fucking course they are! Relative to their bodies, those feet are HUGE. Plus, they’re not exactly sleekly shaped. We’re not talking Silver Surfer tootsies, mes amis. BUT boobies are said to be graceful things in the air and sea. Never having been to their homelands, I’ll have to trust the PR.

Ten’s probably nimble no matter where he’s at. Me? Fuck man, I’m not even agile sitting in my big old comfy chair. (thanks NF2!) I used to be though! Mind you, that’s at least 10 neurosurgeries ago BUT…okay…nevermind.

The difference between the male and female blue-footed booby is that the women are a little bit bigger. This is so they can dive deeper into water and catch more fish. This isn’t a thing for Ten and I though I’m still a bit heavier than him. //shrugs// The extra weight is undoubtedly there to serve as a cushion for when I fall (it’s that damn NF2 horseshit again). I fall so Ten doesn’t need to.

Relationships – they’re about sharing life’s struggles and picking up the extra weight as needed. Also laughter.

Paraphrasing Emma Goldman:
If I can't laugh, I don't want to be part of your revolution (or anything else for that matter)!