What Would Chocolate Bunny Do?

REJOICE! It's the day the chocolate bunny rose from the dead and I am eternally grateful for her selfless sacrifice to the world. 

Naturally, while I slovenly indulge in my Bunny Day basket of goodies, the patriarchy spins disastrously onward.

Right-wing penis Americans: "Women shouldn't be in positions of power and authority. Women shouldn't be allowed vote either. They're too emotional – not rational and logical like men."

Also, right-wing penis toters: "The hand of God teleported me to a Waffle House.”

“I was with my boys one time, and I was telling them I was gonna go to Waffle House and get Waffle House. And I ended up at a Waffle House – this was in Georgia, and I end up at a Waffle House like 50 miles away from where I was,” Phillips said on the podcast Onward, co-hosted by rightwing activist Catherine Engelbrecht.

Phillips added: “And they said, ‘where are you?’ and I said, ‘a Waffle House.’ And: ‘a Waffle House where?’ And I said: ‘Waffle House in Rome, Georgia.’ And they said: “‘That’s not possible, you just left here a moment ago.’ But it was possible. It was real.”

But Phillips did warn about the dangers of teleportation.

“Teleporting is no fun,” he said “You know it’s happening, but you can’t do anything about it, and so you just go, you just go with the ride. And wow, what just an incredible adventure it all was.” (source) 

This is Gregg Phillips who Prez Pedo chose to head FEMA. You know, the Federal Emergency Management Agency. The folks who used to help people before, during, and after disasters – like hurricanes, floods, and fires. FEMA provided funding, sent response teams, and tried to find ways to stave off damages from future disasters.

That is, FEMA did this until Prez Griftasaurus Dipshit scammed his way back into office. Pedo CHOSE this wackaloon to head up a profoundly serious agency on which we the taxpaying people all rely in times of extreme trouble.

Maybe old Greggles isn't actually nuts and was just drunk off his ass, tripping his balls off, and spun a weak-ass fairy tale to cover staying out too late with the boys. In any case, he should’ve made a financial investment in witnesses.

…as the outlet phrased it, none of the interviewees “said they were aware of anyone traveling to the 24-hour restaurants by paranormal means.”

“I’ve seen it all,” longtime Waffle House server Shastoni Burge told the outlet. “But I’ve never seen that.” (source) 

Obviously, if Greggles is a rational, stable, logical, stoic example of the males of our species, humanity is stone fucked. Dude is seriously missing more than half his brain cells. I wonder if he’s even able to feed or bathe himself. A dead toad would do a better job of running FEMA.

This is, of course, par for the course. Trump only hires complete imbeciles because he’s too insecure to have anyone more intelligent or sane than himself in his employ. Pedo is demonstrably a complete radish brained Froot Loop so...

Speaking of barely sentient radishes – there’s the Fox weekend couch sitter who was booted from the Army National Guard for being an “insider threat.” This is the vain, volatile pinheaded christian nationalist who’s running the war in Iran. You know, the war that we’re losing BADLY. The war where every day we as a nation embarrass ourselves to levels no one has ever seen before – that no one thought possible. 

Apparently Piss Drunk Pete’s a bit paranoid about getting canned despite the fact that he’s white and usually looks “good” on camera (to MAGAt viewers). He should be nervous. Kegseth’s making his boss look as incompetent as he actually is. He’s exposing Trump’s asininity and colossal ineptitude to the entire world. Don’cha know, Pedo’s a bit sensitive about that shit. 

So then, Perpetually Plastered Pete is out there firing all the folks who know what the fuck they’re doing. Ya know, like any emotionally secure, intelligent, leader who's focused on achieving measurable goals would be doing. Of course.