Sad Peacocking

A woman on Threads was called names for being, ya know, an opinion having female type human. Yes they were ridiculous, tired, worn out, unimaginative, adolescent vulgarisms. They came from MAGAts — it’s to be expected.

What were they thinking ? Did they honestly believe that the women they were intending to destroy with these, in-their-minds-only, soul withering slams to “fragile” feminine sensibilities, were going to do anything other than laugh? These eternal incels put their astonishingly underdeveloped middle school minds on center stage, under the bright lights all while thinking they’re peacocking great cutting wit. Aaaah ... no.

They’re doing nothing more than showing off that they’re less than bright or mentally agile enough to carry on a debate with a ham sandwich.

The first was “thunder cunt” and the other was “treasonous vagina.” Dudes probably thought they were just so edgy and erudite coming up with those! FYI, thunder cunt’s not a new one — that slam's been kicking around for decades. 

Gotta say though, these would make for great, memorable band names.

Thunder Cunt might be a fierce hardcore punk band or maybe death metal. No sexy Hollywood-ready frontwoman — à la Debbie Harry or Joan Jett. Nope. The group would have someone more like Patti Smith or Poly Styrene.

Treasonous Vagina would either be a cutting edge experimental ensemble or a speed metal band crossed with an art house burlesque troupe. Either would totally work.

For the former, we’d need an avante garde type like Laurie Anderson. For the latter, an over-the-top performer like Siouxsie Sioux or Wendy O. Williams.

The online losers have been emboldened by their unhinged, desperately and deservedly insecure, increasingly dementia ridden hero, the orange imbecile — Donald Pedophile Trump.

Seems like it won’t be long before people just start laughing in his face after he throws one of his inane, childish hissy fits at a woman reporter who dares to do her job. Daily he makes himself an increasingly ghastly florid fool. When I think it’s not possible for him to say something even more stupid he proves me wrong by saying shit like, Denmark gave him Greenland or that there are “five states where your child goes off to school as Tim and comes back as Tammy, three or four days later.” Yes, he really said those things. 

Is he stupid and delusional? Does he honest and true believe what he's saying? Quite possibly. Is this dementia? Maybe. Does it really matter whether he believes his own fantasies or it's a gold-painted baroque con job to snow the rubes? The result is the same — carnival barking lies, told by a huckster in badly applied, gaudy tangerine makeup, sporting a sadly dyed. cotton candy combover, wearing baggy, cheap, unwashed suits, and cheap shoes with lifts.

In not reining him in, the GOP has truly shot themselves in both feet. If we can manage to dump the sycophantic weasel turds who are happily destroying the country and elect a sane House and Senate, MAYBE we can all take a deep breath and get busy with the giant job of stanching the country’s bleeding. VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!!!

Well, That Was Quick!

I have just a couple of things to say about the demise of Katie Zachari, Prez Pedo’s latest Designated Untruth Secretary.

Thanks to her single 14 minute glitter encased twitching tower of turds performance, we now have a new unit of time to measure how briefly a person is employed. The first micro-unit comes from Prez Pedo’s first reign of terror and error courtesy of Anthony Scaramucci. Tony was a foul, crass, and utterly full of himself Wall Street financier who was inexplicably hired to be White House comms director in 2017. He was quickly shitcanned. 

A Scaramucci is a period of 10 days.
The new Zachari unit of measure is 4.5 days.

For those struggling with the conversion:
1 Zacharia = 2.2 Scaramuccis
1 Scaramucci = .45 Zacharias 

I hear there's an opening in Greece for a diplomat. Perhaps Katie should apply. From what I understand the only requirements are hair extensions and plastic surgery. I think Katie’s got that covered. The last person to hold the position actually DID go to law school AND passed the California bar exam in 1994 though.

Steven Cheung, White House director of communications, giant thumb, and completely unhinged moron is apparently quite smitten with Katie. Either that or he's dipped into RFK Jr.'s LSD stash.

Still girl got pink slipped before we got even one SNL skit out her! Christ almighty, I was counting on a whole season’s worth of material.

Ten and I had green bananas when Katie was first hired. They’re still not quite ready to eat. A head of lettuce, bought Monday, has outlasted her.

Back in my younger days, I regularly had periods that lasted longer than Katie’s employment.

I guess, with Katie gone, Pedo’s original stalker/diaper nurse doesn’t need to worry about losing the object of her fecal obsession. Looks like we won’t be watching Fatal Attraction: Blonde Enshittification … at least not yet.

Once more with disgust, only women in Pedo’s vile admin are held accountable for incompetence, fuck ups, grift, and their embarrassing dearth of intelligence.

Jobless (and deservedly so):

— Katie Zacharia
— Kimberly Guilfoyle 
— Kristi Noem 
— Pam Epstein-File Bondi 
— Tulsi Gabbard, remember her?
— Lori Chavez-DeRemer 

While these blithering imbeciles are still pulling obscenely healthy paychecks:

— Pete Small-Penis-Syndrome Kegseth
— RFK Jr, the anti-vax measles propagator who’s never met a dead animal he wouldn’t cuddle up with or maybe have for lunch.
— Stephen Nosferatu Miller, who wants to exterminate all people with skin tone darker than bleached flour.
— Hysterical Story Fabulating Machine and Charm Devoid Menace, J.Douche Vance
— Russell Strategic-Incompetence Vought 
— Bumbling Idiot Scott Bessent
— Krazy Kash (who could not possibly BE any more stupid) Patel

Lauren Kolesinskas

And the list could, ultra sadly, go on and on and on.

Meanwhile the Daily Mail, not exactly a reputable source but who knows — these are crazy times, says that Butt-head Jr.’s ex fiancé, the ex ambassador to Greece, has a “burn book.” I’m sure she does. This diary is said to contain all sorts of dirt on Prez Pedo and his criming family. Supposedly, now that she’s gotten the ax and is, understandably, bitter as three day old, cold French roast, she’s going to firebomb her Trump bridges — expose those filthy secrets to the light of day. This all sounds like a happy fever dream but, again, we’re living in an un-fucking-believably surreal era. MAYBE it could happen?

Realistically, I’m sure the Trump crime family will either pay Ms. Gargoyle for her silence or they’ll just make any threats to themselves vanish somehow. Kim should steer clear of windows above the first floor, steep staircases, elevator shafts, and maybe she should hire a food taster. You know, in order to avoid coming down with Sudden Russian Death Syndrome.

Walter Wants to Know What's Up

Walter has questions and concerns

I saw a snippet of the new press secretary’s first time on stage yesterday. Of course I couldn’t hear it (deaf here) and there was no closed captioning on the video. I was able to pick up an awful lot from her appearance and body language though. 

Before I share my brief thoughts on that, I gotta ask, did Katie Zacharia get the press secretary job because:

✅ She’s young appearing, thin, and has long, straight, bottle-blonde hair?
✅ She looks good on camera? (“good” as defined by ancient saggy billionaires who need industrial strength boner pills just to *think* about maybe getting a stiffy in the next day or two)
✅ There’s a slight resemblance to Ivanka?
✅ She totally looks like she’d be right at home with the Fox “news” couch crew?
❓❓❓ Is Pedo possibly bored with his current stalker/diaper nurse, Natalie Harp, and is casting around for a new sewage filled nappy changer? Question — will Nat go full Fatal Attraction on Prez Pedo? Are there boiled bunnies in his future? Ya know, "I'm not gonna be ignored, Don!" I could see it.

Katie’s supposedly got a law degree — she claims to have a JD from Pepperdine. Cool if true. She also says she passed the bar exam “when she moved to China,” but hasn’t or won’t name the state(s) where she took and passed said exam(s). Hmmmmm … seem fishy. I’m smelling cod just now with a hint of trout. You?

Just in case I was misreading her “when she moved to China” response — I considered that she was perhaps saying she took the exam in China so that she could practice law there. Foreigners can’t sit for the bar exam in China though. Also, foreign lawyers living in China can't interpret, advise on, or practice Chinese law. So … nope.

There is no record anywhere of her taking the bar here in the U.S., let alone passing it. So, Katie’s not a lawyer. Not even a parking lot one like the comically ornamental mouthpiece and Melania look alike, Alina Habba.

She’s just someone with a law degree … allegedly. 

Back to her performance. Remember, I just saw a tiny bit and it was without sound or context. What I came away with was that this was some impatient, privileged, prima donna, adolescent type who’s never been in a professional setting and has absolutely no idea how to behave or present herself in such an environment. 

• She didn’t hold her head relatively still as she spoke. Instead she seemed to twitch, tilt, swirl, and turn — she was in near constant motion. Almost like she was having some sort of seizure.
• Her hair (hair extensions) continually fell into her face which was exceptionally distracting. After a minute I just wanted to scream — GET YOUR HAIR OUT OF YOUR FACE, YOU’RE NOT AT A DISCO!!! 
• The facial expressions! Goodness, this chica clearly has ZERO emotional intelligence, professionalism, or the maturity you’d expect from a high school graduate. I felt as though I was watching a 12-year-old having a tantrum with their mother. 

WHY can’t I go to the mall?! Sheila’s mom is letting her go! EVERYONE else’s mother lets them go! You’re SO UNFAIR!

Online commenters have said she was comically bad. That she could barely read the script she’d been given. More than a few remarked that they’re hoping she lasts because she’s just SO laughably, screamingly bad.

Malcolm Ferguson at The New Republic wrote:

Her cadence was clunky, closer to that of a fourth grader reading school announcements over an intercom than a polished political communications professional. It’s clear she was never meant to be more than another blonde conservative placeholder on Fox News. The SNL spoof feels imminent.

This woman is actually 42 and the mother of FOUR children. I can only hope the spawn are being raised by intelligent, subversive nannies.

And then there was her bizarre presumptive announcement that “We have asked the ambassador (of Greece) to resign.” Very interesting that the spokesperson who just got there feels so comfortable using a personal pronoun about an executive office decision.

Also too, normally some admin type would put out a statement saying the Ambassador will be making a statement soon. Gargoyle would have been allowed to announce her resignation. Saying she has been asked to resign is *cough* unusual.

I hope she has at least another time or two at the podium before showtime Saturday. Ya know, to give the SNL cast a little more material. From her first brief performance, it looks like she could easily become a regular feature, like Weekend Update.

These Are NOT Bright Humans

I mean, DUH-HUH!!!

Kegseth abruptly fired Navy Secretary John Phelan. Awfully inconvenient timing, wouldn’t you say? I mean, we are in the middle of a war and that Gulf of Hormuz (or Gulf of Vermouth as the Drunk Administration calls it) is rather critical. Right?

The sources said Hegseth in effect blamed Phelan for not going aggressively enough against Senator Mark Kelly after appearing in a video in which the senator advised troops to ignore “illegal orders”. (source) 

So, Phelan got the ax because he, more or less, agreed that sailors have a duty to disobey unlawful orders. Unlawful orders defined as violating the Constitution or US or international laws like those of the Geneva Convention. Plastered Pete's ultra fragile manhood, naturally, felt threatened.

Phelan’s replacement? Acting Navy secretary Hung Cao. He has a typical Republican backstory in that there’s some obvious lies about his past. He claims to have been "completely" disabled after he was “blown up” in combat but he was never given a Purple Heart. Huh.

Eligibility for a Purple Heart applies to service members who suffered a wound: 1) As the direct or indirect result of enemy action, and 2) The wound required treatment by a medical officer at the time of the injury. (source) 

There’s also no record of him receiving the Navy’s Combat Action Ribbon.

The principal eligibility criterion is that the individual must have participated in a bona fide ground or surface combat fire-fight or action during which he/she was under enemy fire and his/her performance while under fire was satisfactory. (source)  

Gee, I’d think that if he’d really been “blown up,” as he’d claimed, he’d at least have a Combat Action Ribbon if not that and a Purple Heart. Still he claims to be completely disabled from being “shot at and blown up in Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia.”

Four retired Navy and Army officers who reviewed Cao’s service record said it was unusual for a sailor severely wounded in combat in Iraq or Afghanistan not to have received a Purple Heart or the Navy’s Combat Action Ribbon. (source) 

Stolen valor much, Hung Cao?

Prez Pedo and his crew of crack incompetents sure can pick winners, can’t they? I guess we can just be grateful that no allegations or convictions for rape and/or pedophilia have come out … so far.

According to Iran’s Ministry of Health 3,375 people have now been killed in Pedo and Bibi’s attacks on Iran. There are also 2,294 dead in Lebanon from Israel’s attacks. 

On the other side of the coin, 26 Israelis, 13 US soldiers, and 28 people in various Gulf states have been killed.

118 Iraqis are now dead thanks to Trump and Netanyahu’s war of choice. 

Most of them (the Iraqis) were members of the Popular Mobilisation Forces (PMF) paramilitary group, some units of which are aligned with Iran. (source) 

Right this second, that's a total of 5, 854 total dead humans. Dead for absolutely no good reason.

Israel, as of this morning, is blowing up residential neighborhoods in the southern Lebanese city of Bint Jbeil. So much for the  Lebanon-Israel peace talks, eh?

What makes these right wing fuckheads so insanely bloodthirsty? Were they not breastfed long enough? Did someone steal Bibi’s favorite binky? Did Pedo’s Klan belonging father, Fred, shit in his son’s Cheerios every morning? Did his illegal alien mother gas him with hairspray each morning, thus crippling his already barely functioning brain?

I’d really like to know!

Send in the Clowns

The US doesn’t have a government – we have a flaming clown car flying down Main Street at 100mph. It’s manned by a mob of drunk weasels in puke stained trench coats who are desperately trying to come up with their next great lie, their next lunatic cover story to explain away the mad king’s latest bloated ego and dementia fueled outburst.  

This is, of course, no surprise to you.

No wonder the clowns are all always either plastered like Pete the Secretary of War Crimes, blind drunk and out-for-the-count like FBI Director Krazy Kash  or driving the train like lil’ Marco the supposed Secretary of State whose job doesn’t seem to include diplomatic efforts with Iran. Hmmm, interesting that.

Bill Day

The latest substance abuser to fall? Andrew Hugg, the U.S. Army's Branch Chief for Chemical Nuclear Surety. Sounds like a serious gig. What’s it entail, basically?

His official Army duties include overseeing personnel reliability programs and leading insider-threat work for the transport of radioactive material, according to public-facing professional bios. These are the systems designed to ensure that individuals trusted with sensitive assets are beyond reproach in their discretion and emotional stability. 

Professional profiles previously associated with Hugg also listed a role as a member of the Senior Technical Staff at Oak Ridge National Laboratory, a position that sits at the heart of nuclear weapons and non-proliferation research. (source) 

Tom Toro

Andrew Hugg was apparently trying to get laid and, clearly believing sensitive national security tidbits are aphrodisiacs, started dropping government secrets like oysters, chocolate cover strawberries, and perfectly twisted joints. 

He told the woman he'd just met about plans to assassinate Iran’s latest supreme leader. He confirmed that children have been killed in US strikes, saying they were “collateral damage – they [kids] always die during war.”  He talked about US missile-launch detection systems and how the military handles launch messages. He said the military still uses nerve agents.

Stunningly and unironically, Andy says to the woman “the easiest way to get intelligence…send a pretty girl, talk to the guy…I have to resist your eyes.” Sheesh! I wonder if Randy Andy ever thinks with his brain instead of his dick. The woman was an undercover reporter and she was recording.

Dude was escorted out of the Pentagon. Frankly, I’m a little surprised. I would’ve thought Plastered Pete the rapey, war crimes, dry drunk secretary would have, like, totally understood and given him a pass. Stands to reason, given Pete's Signalgate past and all.

Interestingly, Andy’s sting was set up and reported by James O’Keefe. Remember him? O’Keefe is the far-right political provocateur who, in the past, hasn’t been above editing his videos to create false narratives. He’s all right-wing RAH-RAH-RAH + ego + theater. Ethics and reality be damned. Has this video been edited to make Andy appear worse than he already does? 

OMG [O'Keefe Media Group] said parts of the video were redacted because they contained what it described as intimate details about the U.S. nuclear arsenal, including discussion about missiles located underground. (source) 

As it is, it’s gonna be really hard for the old boy to talk his way out of this.

When your Iran War Is Going SO Bad…..

I mean, it’s going hideously, embarrassingly, shit-your-pants-while-giving-a-book-report-in-5th-grade bad. Don the Con’s found himself self neck-deep in toxically soiled Depends and no one’s coming to bail his capacious ass out. He's burnt WAY too many bridges.

What’s a cretinous, rabid rat, who's grown grotesquely obese on the suffering and lifeblood of others to do?

Dimwit Don’s Epstein Fury distraction buddy has fucked him over good on the ceasefire and continues to bomb the shit out of Lebanon. Why? Apparently Netanyahu was in a solid snit about that ceasefire. He didn’t like it AT ALL. Bibi wanted to bomb more innocents – he wanted to kill more people, spill more blood. So he did. 300 more people died because Donnie’s war bestie Bibi had a temper tantrum

Others have speculated that the attack – without warning and initially hitting more than 100 targets in 10 minutes including in densely populated residential areas in central Beirut – was aimed at undermining the US-Iran ceasefire that many see as being imposed on an unhappy Netanyahu.
~~~
The Israeli strikes came despite the fact that Hezbollah had said it had been “notified of a ceasefire” and had been “committed to it since this morning”, according to Lebanese political sources.
~~~
Netanyahu’s justification for such a horrific attack on civilian centres hours after the ceasefire had been announced appeared thin at least. His boasts about killing an aide to Qassem and his insistence of Israel’s right to continuing striking in Lebanon suggested to some that it was an attempt to act as a spoiler in a ceasefire he had argued against. (source) 

What’s a yutz from Queens gonna do when his back’s against the wall and his buddies are fucking him blind?  

Push the old soft porn model he married out in front of the cameras to lie and humiliate herself. Hey, it’s her turn to play the world’s stupidest human. Except for that empty headed, tone deaf, astoundingly ridiculous, propaganda “documentary,” Pedo’s been driving the technicolor crazy clownshit bus lately.

And sure, we’ll call Bezos' billionaire to billionaire bribe a “documentary.” Of course this just means I’m gonna to start referring to Debbie Does Dallas as serious sports journalism.

Melania claims she wasn’t friends with Epstein or Maxwell. Mel lies about as well as that stupid, orange makeup-plastered, weasel shit factory she’s married to though. In their email exchanges, Maxwell calls Mel "Sweet pea." Dunno about you but I call ALL my very casual acquaintances "Sweet pea." Don't you? 🙄

Melania addressed Ghislaine as “G” and signed off with Love. Kind of belies the whole casual correspondence claim, eh?

Mel says she “never had a relationship” with old Jeffy, the child raping, blackmailing, alleged Israeli spy BUT it’s common knowledge that Donnie and his bestie used to trade women and victimized children back and forth like toys. Who can we believe? Absolutely none of them, that's for damn sure.

The First Heaux said the claims of her relationship with Epstein and Maxwell were “defaming her reputation.”

Oh honey…
A) Her rep’s never been above gutter level. She defamed her own self when she hitched her g-string to the Epstein/Trump child rape, torture, trafficking, and blackmail machine. There’s too many pictures—she can’t successfully lie her way out now. 

B) The most honest thing she's said? “I am not Epstein’s victim.” No shit. She was a willing player. She was fucking her way into fame and fortune. What she got instead was infamy and fortune. Close enough if you’re born without a soul, ethics, or self-respect, I guess.

"The lies linking me with the disgraceful Jeffrey Epstein need to end today.” 

Or what, Babe? 

You know, discovery’s an unforgiving bitch. The Epstein files can and will be opened up more if she continues to make a big fuss and sue. It’s assumed by pretty much everyone around the world that she’s on the game and that Pedo’s just her main client now.

I’m going to bet Iran has the full Trumpstein files and videos. Maybe Mel’s little foot stomping presser is a precursor to a new, nasty, XXX rated LEGO video courtesy of Iran's clever trollworks.

I can't wait! Also, thank you for your attention to this matter.

Chucklehead Corner

We're gonna need a bigger clown car.

I imagine you’ve already read how the editor-in-chief of The Atlantic, Jeffrey Goldberg, was accidentally included in a Signal group chat discussing plans to bomb the Houthis in Yemen. 

The group included VP Vance, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, Secretary of State Marco Rubio, national security adviser Mike Waltz, National Intelligence Director Tulsi Gabbard, CIA Director John Ratcliffe, deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller, Envoy to the Middle East Steve Witkoff and others.

HOW did this happen?

• Could it have been a purposeful leak attempt? If so, who’s the heroic leaker?
• Is Kegseth (not a typo) in Trumpy’s doghouse now?
• Will ANYONE be held accountable for this incredibly boneheaded, middle school level, colossal fuck up?

The National Security Agency sent out an operational security special bulletin to its employees in February 2025 warning them of vulnerabilities in using the encrypted messaging application Signal, according to internal NSA documents obtained by CBS News.
   ~~~
The NSA is an arm of the Defense Department and specializes in signals intelligence — which is derived from electronic transmissions — and cybersecurity. The agency is responsible for monitoring, collecting and processing information and data for U.S. national security interests. 
   ~~~
"A vulnerability has been identified in the Signal Messenger Application. The use of Signal by common targets of surveillance and espionage activity has made the application a high value target to intercept sensitive information," the internal bulletin begins. (source)

The Department of Defense controls the NSA. That’s Kegseth’s department. I would think that, given his very own damn department’s warnings about Signal (issued just last month), drunk, rapey, frat boy Pete would have known that using the app wasn’t smart.

The advisory states "Russian professional hacking groups are employing the 'linked devices' feature to spy on encrypted conversations." It goes on to note that Google has also identified Russian hackers who are targeting "Signal Messenger to spy on persons of interest.” (source)

Steven Witkoff was in Russia when he was added to the chat. Was Putin’s intelligence crew monitoring? Given that Trump (AKA Krasnov), Gabbard, and Musk are on Team Russia anyway, does it matter?

Ratcliffe and Gabbard claim the Yemen strike plans contained no classified information. Sure. If that’s the case, show us all the details. Make it public.

It’s outrageous that the Trump White House accidentally shared top-secret war plans with a journalist. Those should only be available to people using a public bathroom at Mar-a-Lago.
~ Borowitz Report

Mike Waltz spunout a fairy tale that The Atlantic’s Jeffrey Goldberg dastardly hacked his way into their Signal chat. At the same time, these bozos are claiming that using their personal phones and a not-so-secure app is safe/not vulnerable to hacking. Also, secret war plans aren't really secret.

Which is it you rake-stepping bumblers? Either the app is so porous that it can be easily hacked by a magazine editor (who just happened to know the times of all the pertinent exchanges) OR Signal’s encryption is so impenetrable that it’s safe for secret military attack planning discussions?

With charmless, fecal brained louts like this at the top of our government, it's totally unsurprising that the entire world is laughing at us.