Caturday Morning's Alright

From I Could Pee on This and Other Poems by Cats by Francesco Marciuliano

Nudge

Nudge
Nudge, nudge, nudge
Nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge, nudge
Nudge

Your glass just shattered on the floor

I Lick Your Nose

I like your nose
I lick your nose again
I drag my claws down your eyelids
Oh, you’re up? Feed me.

Wisdom from Robert Heinlein:

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”

“Never try to outstubborn a cat.”

 Terry Pratchett weighs in:

“If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.”
*****************
“I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.”

And Nobel Peace Prize winner Albert Schweitzer sagely pronounces:

“The only escape from the miseries of life are music and cats...”

The late great journalist, heretic and
polemicist Christopher Hitchens:

“Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.”

The wickedly wise Mark Twain had this to add:

“Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.” 

and this:

“Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiments have proven to me that he is the Unreasoning Animal... In truth, man is incurably foolish. Simple things which other animals easily learn, he is incapable of learning. Among my experiments was this. In an hour I taught a cat and a dog to be friends. I put them in a cage. In another hour I taught them to be friends with a rabbit. In the course of two days I was able to add a fox, a goose, a squirrel and some doves. Finally a monkey. They lived together in peace; even affectionately.

Next, in another cage I confined an Irish Catholic from Tipperary, and as soon as he seemed tame I added a Scotch Presbyterian from Aberdeen. Next a Turk from Constantinople; a Greek Christian from Crete; an Armenian; a Methodist from the wilds of Arkansas; a Buddhist from China; a Brahman from Benares. Finally, a Salvation Army Colonel from Wapping. Then I stayed away for two whole days. When I came back to note results, the cage of Higher Animals was all right, but in the other there was but a chaos of gory odds and ends of turbans and fezzes and plaids and bones and flesh--not a specimen left alive. These Reasoning Animals had disagreed on a theological detail and carried the matter to a Higher Court.”

An excerpt from Letters from the Earth
Elton John -- Saturday Night's Alright