Everyone Poops

I really, SO wish this book had been out and en vogue when I was a kiddle.

A synopsis from our buds at Wikipedia:

Everyone Poops is essentially plotless. The first sixteen pages contain various prompts regarding defecation in animals such as opposites ("An elephant makes a big poop" and "mouse makes a tiny poop"), comparisons (that various species produce various sizes and shapes of poop) and questions ("What does whale poop look like?").

On the seventeenth page, a nameless boy with black overalls and a red shirt is introduced, seen running into a bathroom. The book then goes on to explain how people of all ages, from adult to very young child, defecate, and how infants may use diapers

In the house of my childhood pooping wasn’t considered a natural act. It was something done in embarrassed private, without smell, sound or inconvenience to the delicate plumbing of the various apartments and sad houses we inhabited.

Neat feat and major applause worthy (silent golf clap brand), IF doable. We were, however, a family of six living, most often, in one bathroomed tight quarters.

I recall, as a teen, committing the unforgivable act of clogging the toilet. I was excoriated to the nth degree AND banned from ever taking a dumperooni in the house again. Ever. It was decreed that I was, henceforth, to only use public restrooms.

Huh. If I’d not been raised with the stone belief that pooping was a vile, weak and brutally shameful act, I prolly could have consistently accommodated. I tried though. Truly I did. I was a good kid like that, eh?

Flash forward to Donna as an adult -- I got over it. Mostly. Somewhere along the line I discovered that, in point of fact, everyone poops. Waddyaknow?!

Damage lingers though.
While in hospital for one of my big brain do ups, the nurse had to bring me to the can since I was, as yet, unable to walk. One morning, utterly horrified when I realized that I was about to let one rip. I freaked. I begged the nurse to please evacuate the evacutorium post haste. Schnell bitte!

She wanted to know why -- you see, I was a ridiculously huge fall risk and wasn’t to be unattended even for a tiny moment. I confessed my disgrace -- I felt a movement coming on.

The nurse looked at me as though I was rockin’ 12 heads, each one seven steps crazier than the one before, and incredulously pronounced ‘everyone poops.’

Gee WOW -- major epiphany time! It’s not just The Amazing Bob, Jen and Oni -- this is a real thing. Everyone Poops and it's OK!

Yeah, you can see I’ll be picking this up for almost here, Baby Girl Grant, can’t you?

The not yet written, companion book is Everyone Poots. It’ll be penned by Jen the Queen of Non Verbal Communication. Of course.