Disney Delusions

My Disney loathing has its roots in Parental Unit Land, I suppose. I remember my father railing against Walt's movies — the dumbing down, despoiling and sanitizing for your protection of the original folk tales.

Fer example:

Cinderella
In the Brothers Grimm version, after the big ball when the hunt for Glass Slipper Babe is on, one of Cinderella's evil stepsisters cuts off one of her toes, the other her heel so they can fit into the tiny glass slipper, thus fooling the prince into marrying one of them. Little birdies rat out the sisters to the prince (Yo, PrinceDude, there’s blood in the shoe and EWWWWWWW body parts in the corner over here!) so, em, nice try but no win and there aren’t any lovely parting gifts either.

The self mutilators (for the righteous cause of WEALTH) grok that they could still be all monied up if they just kiss up to Cindy — their former bully bag. She is about to be queen, don’cha know. They attend her big fat fairy tale wedding, only to have their eyes pecked out by birds.

Huh, wonder if Hitchcock’s mother read Grimm’s version to him as a child.

The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen

Those legs had a stiff price tag. The sea witch from whom she bought the limbs, pronounced that:

You will still have the same floating gracefulness of movement, and no dancer will ever tread so lightly; but at every step you take it will feel as if you were treading upon sharp knives, and that the blood must flow.

And she had to give over her tongue — La Merm was no longer able to speak. Did she ultimately get her prize? Nope. Princey married some other babe and our fish girl croaks.

Lovely.



Sleeping Beauty or Little Brier Rose by the Grimm Boys is not so very different from Disney’s. In the version by Giambattista Basile, Sun, Moon and Talia, a traveling king just happens to walk by the estate (not castle) where Sleeping Beauty's doin’ the big coma dance. For whatever reason, he knocks on the door and just walks right in when there’s no response. Unable to resist Talia’s beauty OR behave like a decent human being, he rapes her. Yup, he rapes a comatose woman. Must have been a Sigma Chi boy.

So, Talia’s rapist knocked her up with twins. She wakes sometime after their birth. Somehow her and Rape King get back together — astoundingly, she'd fallen for him and they marry. Not sure if this is before or after RK offed his first wife by throwing her in a boiling vat of something or other. Gee, he seems nice.

First wifey was an ogre though. NOT a beauty. So it’s OK.

Right?




Wrong!

Watch yur back Talia!

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
In the Grimm version, the evil queen summons a huntsman and directs him to:

Take Snow-White out into the woods. I never want to see her again. Kill her, and as proof that she is dead bring her lungs and her liver back to me.

The huntsman can’t do the deed. Instead he kills a boar and:

...cut out its lungs and liver, and took them back to the queen as proof of Snow-White's death. The cook had to boil them with salt, and the wicked woman ate them, supposing that she had eaten Snow-White's lungs and liver.

Yup, bitch wanted to dine on young, pretty, sweet Snow. //shudder//

So, what up with my father wanting me to read such scary stories versus the pretty, pretty princess versions? I’m not positive but I believe I recall the reasons lay in the bullshit message that, if you’re gorgeous and acquiescent, a knight/prince in shining armor will scoop you up. Henceforth all life will be easy, beautiful and happily ever after's a lock But only if you’re beautiful, sweet, pure and doormat-ish.

Daddy didn't raise me to be some lame ass, weakling chicklet waiting patiently for princeboy to come to my rescue. Nope. No Disney Delusions for me.

Also too, the originals are so much more interesting — real ripping yarns. Still, there’s the disturbingly weird evil queen/crone/stepmother/witch plot device. Young women are set up to distrust and fear older women. Us old broads are always the enemy?

How fucked up is that? I ask you.