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Wednesday, April 29, 2015

In a Perfect World

In today's excellent alternative world everyone’s lives revolve around me and MY needs. At the drop of a chapeau schedules shift to accommodate me, me, ME. Friends stream forward to assist, to perk me up, to mop my feverish brow.

Hey, the masses are just waiting in the wings for their cue, my nod in their general direction. Right? RIGHT!???
Yo, I need brekkie with mimosas out at Stars this morning, After that mebbe you can accompany me to the Hokusai show. K?
I could go for a martini (Sapphire, extra dry, straight up with olives) at Fat Cat for lunch. Make that happen. Please.
I’d like dinner at Kama Sutra tonight. Be a dear and hire us a plane, won’t you Sweets?
And, while you’re at it, I’d like hear John Martyn croon Solid Air one more time. Thanks, I owe Ya one!
“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Yeah, fuck you—I’m not a cold shrew, I’m just sad. K?
“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it--always.”
Mahatma Gandhi
“You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”
Jonathan Safran Foer
 Nonetheless, fuck you. (Yeah, I get a bit testy and foul when under a dismal cloud or two)
“He awoke each morning with the desire to do right, to be a good and meaningful person, to be, as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it actually was, happy. And during the course of each day his heart would descend from his chest into his stomach. By early afternoon he was overcome by the feeling that nothing was right, or nothing was right for him, and by the desire to be alone. By evening he was fulfilled: alone in the magnitude of his grief, alone in his aimless guilt, alone even in his loneliness. I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others--the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad. I am not sad. I am not sad. Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, insofar as it was an empty white room. He would fall asleep with his heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was no part of him at all. And each morning he would wake with it again in the cupboard of his rib cage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping. And by the midafternoon he was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else. I am not sad.”
― Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated
"the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad."
Just had to see that particular line once again.
“I can't eat and I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in terms of being a functional human, you know?”
Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story
In my case OH I can eat! I’m not like my little sister Celeste or Jen or The Amazing Bob. Nope. When I’m sad, I can think of nothing more sublime than dark chocolate encrusted cheesecake, topped with fresh strawberries and cream from Saint Fratellis. No, I’ve never had it—I gaze on it and dream of its exquisite magnificence. And then gain five pounds all the same.

“When you've suffered a great deal in life, each additional pain is both unbearable and trifling.”
Yann Martel, Life of Pi
“Nothing thicker than a knife's blade separates happiness from melancholy.”
Virginia Woolf, Orlando
LOVED that movie!
“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.”
William Shakespeare, Macbeth
Tell it Willie!

And from the, possibly, most famous of Melancholy Babies:
“I didn't know why I was going to cry, but I knew that if anybody spoke to me or looked at me too closely the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of the throat and I'd cry for a week.”
Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
In lieu of that glorious, alternative me, me, ME dimension, I guess I'll just make coffee, get the laundry in, start working on the three layout/design jobs I've got in house and then...then? Maybe a beach walk break at lunch. Yeah, that'll do.

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