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Friday, February 12, 2016

Interpersonal Cloddishness

Have you ever said just the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time? You know, you just didn't first think Will this be helpful or supportive or is this gonna come off as unfeeling and possibly insulting?

Ummmmmm, if blunderingly poor judgement in this regard were an Olympic sport, I’d certainly medal.

When a very close friend was having colossal problems in his marriage, I was, more often than not, sympathetic but, at the same time, painfully blunt. To my mind, he would've been much happier dumping the clearly—to me anyway—extraordinarily, self obsessed wife-y poo.  He didn't. They've been together for 30 years now and it's, often as not, been rocky. Why'd he stay? Why'd she stay? Dunno. I think some folks, like my parents, thrive on conflict. Mebbe. Who knows? Maybe he just wanted to blow off steam and wasn't looking for my well meaning but harsh solutions. I wish I'd sussed that out before giving my ultra bumbling advice.

In any case, over the long years, I've seen that, JUST like me, my friend's not socially smooth. He's been, unintentionally (like me!) big time insensitive at times. And yet, we're still friends. Cool!

I've been fortunate—extra special, supercalifragalistic fortunate. The Amazing Bob. has put up with my interpersonal cloddishness for 30 years now and has helped me to become less of a blockhead—a somewhat nicer, more considerate person.
OK, Jen, Janice , Lily and a bunch of other folks are to blame for that too.

Why’s this come up today? Eh, I’ve felt, at turns, unappreciated and insulted by a couple of my pals lately. We’re all caught up in mondo work pressures and the major agitata of the primaries. It’s far too easy to forget that we’re all in this together.
Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies—God damn it, you've got to be kind.
~Kurt Vonnegut, Cat’s Cradle
Think before you act or speak. Also too, the fable of the ant and the dove is good to keep in mind. What goes around comes around so try to make it all nice and mitzveh-y, eh?
Do not do to others what angers you if done to you by others.

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