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Saturday, April 30, 2016

Bizarro Dreams and Real Life

Two nights ago my dreams were all about time and space travel which, on the surface sounds like fun. Was this? Ah, non. It was like a black and white 1980s art film – think Eraserhead. Yes, my dreams are absolutely, art school cinematic. Between jumps to different centuries and planets (Mars and Pluto were big favs), I was in a room where an ancient television set flashed and flickered  A screaming man’s face intermittently appeared within. Was this the transporter room? And what was the man wailing about?

There may’ve been a bit of My Twentieth Century in the mix too. Ya know, just to keep things extra solid strange.

Last night, I was frantically trying to come up with the precise amount of paper I’d need to order for a very large booklet order we were about to produce. Yes, as uzh, I was back in the press room where I toiled throughout my 30s. In the midst of a long series of algebraic equations, one of the bindery workers professed his love for me (which, in real life actually happened though we were at a club, seeing a band, at the time) and then a customer came in wanting the huge engagement ring he’d intricately carved in wax, cast in silver. We were a print shop not a foundry but still, we aimed to please – I’d find a place to farm it out to.

‘the fuck?

My only explanation for these extra special nocturnal oddities is that I’ve been putting in way too many work hours this week. Yes, I enjoy my job – graphic design and layout for Granite Print – but, after so many revisions of the most absurdly simple banner design, I just want to yell FUCK you! and MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND! But I don't. Of course. I really do possess a wee shred of maturity, civility and discipline. Honest!

Meanwhile, in Bizarro Land (AKA 21st century election year America) there are Citizens for Trump who plan to be at the Cleveland Republican convention "to document every move.” 
"If Mr. Trump walks into the convention center a couple of hundred votes ahead of Cruz and loses the nomination, it will not be a pretty scene," Selaty said. (source)
There are 4,000 Truckers for Trump who intend to drive their big rigs to Cleveland. Bikers for Trump are promising to attend as well.
The pro-Trump groups say they are not seeking confrontation but fear that opponents of their candidate might start trouble. (source)
Gee. Gosh. I wonder if any of these testosterone junkies have guns. I wonder if there’s any overlap with the open carry crowd. Hmmmmm.
"Our members will instructed (sic) that if there's trouble to stand back and let law enforcement do its job," said Matthew Heimbach, founder of the Traditionalist Workers Party, a "pro-white nationalist, pro-working class" party, which plans to have a few dozen members in Cleveland. (source)
Sure, sure. I totes trust that, because this dude said the words (with a winky-winky or no?), there will be zero violence from the grit, guns and big wheels crowd.

Here’s a shocker – I will NOT travel anywhere near Cleveland, Ohio this summer. Hell’s bells, I’ll even avoid flights into Pittsburgh, 133 miles away. Mebbe I’ll ixnay Appalachia just in July though. I gotta get down that way to see mein Vater, don’cha know.

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