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Sunday, August 7, 2016

What’s in a Name?

That which we call a rose  
By any other name would smell as sweet
 ~ Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act II. Scene II
Or sour. In this case, like an Axe Body Spray doused, broccoli fart in human form.

The Daily Kos refers to the Republican nominee as the Cheeto-hued dumpster fire of a candidate.

Tom Levenson over at Balloon Juice called him a Cheeto-faced, ferret-topped shitgibbon mangled, apricot hellbeast and Comb Over Caligula.

Vanity Fare's Graydon Carter favors Short-Fingered Vulgarian and Gossamer-Skinned Bully. 

Jon Stewart, naturally, has more than a few fab names:
Fuckface von Clownstick (my personal fave)
Comedy Entrapment
Boiled Ham in a Wig
Unrepentant Narcissistic Asshole

Michael R. Burch
gives us Trump of Doom, The Teflon Don and Dire Abby.

Former governor of Maryland and Celtic folk rocker, Martin O’Malley dubbed the vainglorious, imbecilic monomaniac Chicken Donald and Fascist Carnival Barker.
Translation (more or less):
Go away you hamster-topped idiot,
go boil your head
(to make moron soup)

From the Scots (in reaction to his ridiculously out of touch, uninformed, stupid tweet about the Brexit vote) we get a brill collection of imaginative tags:
Incomprehensible jizztrumpet
Weaselheaded fucknugget
Leather faced, shit-tobogganist
Cock juggling thundercunt
Cockwomble which, according to the Urban Dictionary, means "A completely useless person that spouts constant bullshit."
And, specifically, he's a
Polyester Cockwomble
Well then! I'm hard-pressed to name a fave in that group but Polyester Cockwomble wins my morning.

My friend Luis noted this on his Facebook page:
 I will not sacrifice any more brainspace trying to figure this one-man human centipede out. Some like Burroughs and Kerouac were masters at stream-of-consciousness. El Donaldo is streaming a steaming something much more visceral... some vile Stephen King-like extraterrestrial symbiote has rotted his insides and turned his brains to porridge.
Oh yes. AGREED!

David Gerrold refers to Trump as the orange shitstain.

Don C. Reed calls him Lady-fingers Trump, Truth-challenged Trump and Silver-spoon Donald.

Sobriquets found without attribution include:
Agent Orange
Cheeto-Dusted Bloviator
Hair Hitler
The Clinton team, in an effort to counter, to top, to match the neon hued, maggot brained, ego ridden bully boy manqué’s penchant for nicknaming his opponents, came up with a few nom de shames of their own:
The Combover Kid
The Orange Knight
Cialis B. Toklas (Cialis being a limp dick med)
Captain Tantastic
Cheddar Boy
Droopy (if you catch my meaning) Donald
The winner?
Dangerous Donald
Yes, this one fits PERFECTLY!

And a little more from the incredible Mister Stewart:

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