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Saturday, December 3, 2016

No Sweat

According to Captain Beefheart, in the Fab City tune Dirty Blue Gene:
Old woman sweat
Young girls glisten
Well, ya can’t prove it by me – not that I “glisten,” mind you. It’s the oddest thing. I’m at the Y, spinning and pumping on the recumbent elliptical machine. I’m huffing and puffing – workin' as hard as I can. All around me are men and women doing the same thing and they’re simply drenched in heavy duty perspiration. Soaked! Me? Not so you’d notice. My pits, the small of my back may become slightly damp-ish but that’s it.

Do I have Hypohidrosis (more poetically known as Absent Sweating)?

Symptoms include:
  • minimal sweating even when other people are sweating heavily √
  • dizziness √
  • muscle cramps or weakness (nope)
  • a flushed appearance (nope)
  • feeling overly hot (More than when I’m hit by a hot flash? How would I know if it’s menopause kickin’ my ass or Hypohidrosis?)
This could be due to nerve damage and, boyhowdy, I rock some definite spoilage. It’s unavoidable when the good surgeons have to fuss about in the mega tight, complex nerve bundles in ma tête. So then, is this yet another side effect of my copious OR time?

Now, you’d think NOT sweating would be sweet, right? Less smelly, less messy, lower laundry bills…right? Aye but there’s the other side.

Working up a primo sweat:
  • Cools your body. It’s  built in AC.
  • Boosts endorphins (or, as termed by a character in Postcards from the Edge, endolphins.) It’s a recipe for calm and happy.
  • Prompts detoxification action – heavy duty glistening helps push junk out of my overtaxed lymph system.
  • Improves circulation.
  • Kidney stone risk is lowered
  • It can actually prevent colds!
  • It’s good for the ol’ skin sack – improves elasticity and tone!
  • Digestion. You know how, after a big Thanksgiving feast, it helps to go for a walk? Go for a jog or a workout at the gym and feel even better.
I’m missing out here! Or, rather, with me rockin’ the glow action versus the heavy duty sudor effusions, I’m not getting as much bang for my exercising buck as I’d like.

On this dry note, I’m off to the pool. If I can snag a lane, it’s time to swim some laps. If not, it's up to the cardio room for more no sweat time. *sigh*

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