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Friday, May 5, 2017

“Don’t take it personally”

Lamest advice EVAH! How can you NOT take a bully's slams personally? He/she was attacking me very personally. I was the one called a fat pig and a slut. I was the one being shunned by all. I was the one being pelted with eggs as they drove by. (yes, this was back in high school)

Then there's this parental gem, meant to make the sobbing, desperate for relief child feel better: “Bullies’ behavior says more about them than about you.”

True but this is just more weak tea. Sure, the bullies' behavior says they’re mean, nasty, asswipian thugs who should be inpatient at a mental hospital BUT this changes nothing in the tyrannical world we inhabit.

This is just the same as telling your kid, your friend, your sibling ignore them and they’ll go away. They won’t and you’ve given your loved one no tools for battling the rabid beasts.

I found a few sites which give practical advice. Psychology Today had, to my mind, the best overall suggestions – a simple list of seven tactics. Not all work in the stealth world of girl bullies though but it's a start.
1. Stay Connected
Bullies operate by making their victims feel alone and powerless
Yes true BUT when you’re the new kid and don’t have friends yet or when you’re walking home by yourself, “staying connected” isn’t a realistic thing.
2. Create Awareness
Sometimes kids feel like adults never do anything--so why even bother to tell them about incidence of bullying? While there are cases when adults fail to acknowledge the seriousness of a situation, it is more often the case that grown-ups are not aware of what is going on
I tried. I really did. All I got was “ignore them and they’ll go away” and “they pick on you because they like you” (//snort// real useful, Mother! Why not just say “go away, I’m busy”) Also, I was being bullied by some of my teachers so it never occurred to me to ask any of them for help. Of course!
3: Re-define Tattling
4: Act Quickly
5: Respond Assertively
The more a bully thinks he can pick on a victim without a response, the more he will do it. That's why an assertive response is so effective in countering bullying.  Kids who master the skills of assertiveness are comfortable in the middle ground between aggressive comebacks that up the ante for the next go-round, and passive responses that invite further abuse.
6. Use Simple, Unemotional Language
Assertive kids use simple, unemotional, direct language to let bullies know that they do not intend to be victimized.
7. Use Body Language to Reinforce Words
What might these include? Maintaining eye contact, keeping your voice calm and even (despite being scared poopless), use the bully’s name when speaking to him/her/them. There’s more at the link – go, go – read, read!

Bullying didn’t stop once I left school. Nope. Of course not. The entire Republican party is one monster-ass bully. They proved this yesterday with that piece of diseased rat excrement “healthcare” bill they passed.

The Rude Pundit noted that they did this on the National Day of Prayer.
You got that? The Republicans in the House of Representatives passed a bill that would ultimately strip insurance from tens of millions of people and get rid of provisions that would end up harming tens of millions more. People would die if this became law and the very wealthy would get a tax break to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars. (source)
The party who lays sole claim to Christianity, the Purer-Than-Thou cretins did this on the National Day of Prayer. What they’ve done is, essentially, tell those of us who've failed to be filthy rich: “Sick? Better pray because you don’t deserve professional medical help.”
Sexual assault, domestic violence, and C-sections would be considered "pre-existing conditions," and therefore survivors and new moms could face extremely high insurance premiums. Women with the "pre-existing condition" of being pregnant could see premiums increase by as much as $17,000, according to the Center for American Progress. And essential health benefits that could disappear in some states (keyword here being "essential") include hospitalization, mental health services, prescription drugs, preventative care, and pregnancy, maternity, and newborn care. (source)
Nota bene: This is what happens when bullies grow up. They become Republicans.

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