Status Report

Well, I’m feeling a little better this morning.

• The cold is mostly gone.
• I’ve already voted (Sunday morning) and have given myself permission to ignore the Tangerine Twat and my usual news and political blogs for a few days.
• My poor root-bound, giant fern has been repotted (THANK YOU Jen!) and will now be able to grow to world conquering dimensions (an integral part of my nefarious plan for world domination).
  
• It's officially Jameson season. This runs from mid-October-ish through the end of February when I switch over to Chianti. And yes, Jameson's pairs wonderfully with Autumn Mix candy corn. SHUT UP, IT DOES SO!!!
  
• I had my first Zoom physical therapy appointment yesterday which was a little odd. Basically, it was just Q&A. She sent me a PDF with the exercises I can start doing and, once I’ve begun that, I can email her with any questions/issues I have.
• I’ve got another A. Lee Martinez book to help me chill and get the fuck outta my own way. The title? Chasing the Moon.
  

Diana’s had a tough time of it lately, but finally a stroke of luck comes along: after a long search, she finds the perfect apartment. It’s affordable. It’s furnished exactly the way she likes. There’s even a jukebox with all her favorite songs. 

Maybe she should have been more suspicious about how perfect it was, because once she’s moved in, she discovers that the apartment has an extra inhabitant: a monster who goes by the name Vom the Hungering and who tries to eat everything in his path. Before Diana knows it, she has acquired a small menagerie of eldritch horrors from the beyond, and she learns that the universe is infinitely more complex—and dangerous—than she ever imagined. (source)

What’s an  eldritch horror, fer fuck’s sake? Let’s break this down – eldritch is an adjective meaning weird and sinister or ghostly. Horror? Well fuck mes amis, that can encompass everything from the Treasonweasel Badministration to Ellen Ripley’s Alien. How can you tell the difference between the two? Ripley’s monster was smarter and had a better tailor.
Given that Martinez is a comedic sci-fi/fantasy scribbler, the eldritch horrors are kinda adorbs and shit.

This…THIS…should’ve been how Prez Toxic Waste Dump was written – scary, sure, but easily tamed by one smart, tough chica (say…Kamala Harris or Tammy Duckworth). Also, the only sound he can make would be a high pitched squeak when his tubby bod is squeezed (or stepped on). His cell phone? It’d be a Fisher Price Laugh & Learn. 

Not that he’s capable of learning or laughing, unless it’s at the expense of others.