Eyeball Action

I had a follow up with my handsome cornea minder yesterday. Waiting for him to arrive, after his baby doc took care of the preliminaries, I was a bit nervous. Of course I was – we’re talkin’ about my damn eye here. I’m already missing hearing – vision has GOT to stay online.

Oddly, the Gun Club’s tune She’s Like Heroin to Me, was playing loud and long in my bean. So much so that I was inspired to get up outta the exam chair for a bit of singing and dancing. I didn't – figured that might be distracting for the docs (and embarrassing for me).

Wut up? My brain had kicked into auto-cope. While I wasn’t wise to being all stressed and afraid, my subconscious was and had gone to work with the soothe and amuse action.

Doc Dana had good news – my cornea’s fine/stable/no worse. Yea! I’m mega relieved. But wait – there’s something new in Donna World. I’ve got cataracts. Joy. Motherfucking joy-joy.

Yes, I totally know that this is now, in our medically advanced age (relative to my mother’s cataract surgery time in the early ‘70s) totally no big. The Amazing Bob had cataract surgery on both eyes and it was less stressful than going to the dentist (but what isn't?). Little sister Celeste had one eye done. Same thing – easy peasy.

The procedure takes about 15 minutes (!!!). I’ll be awake for it but sedated (and I wanna be). Afterward there are antibiotic drops to put in for three to six weeks. I Googled cataract surgery and was put even more at ease.

Cy Twombly-esque whiteboard action in the doc's office

All in all this will be a piffle, a trifling, small beer and such. Also, I don’t even see the cataract specialist until mid-December so it’s not like my eyes are on fire or anything.

So why am I down about this? Pffft – even though this is no big, it is:

A) Still surgery

Most modern cataract procedures involve the use of a high-frequency ultrasound device that breaks up the cloudy lens into small pieces, which are then gently removed from the eye with suction.

This procedure, called phacoemulsification or "phaco," can be performed with smaller incisions than previous...(source)

See that? Incisions. Those will made with sharp knives IN MY EYE. OK, taking a deep breath now. Calming down. Honest.

B) Something MORE that’s wrong with this traitorous body of mine. Isn't Nf2 enough? Shouldn't that be proof against everything else including the common cold?! (hint: YES!)

and

C) The Amazing Bob isn’t here to chill me out, make me laugh, take care of me OR bake me
some damn cookies. That’s just a zillion kinds of WRONG! Yes, Jen and Oni are here. Helen is close by. Paula’s just up the street. I WILL have support. Also too – Coco.

So, I'm feeling a little whiney/kvetchy/pissy today. I'll hit the gym and try to elliptical the mood off. Possibly I'll even eat a cookie, dammit!