They say it's my birthday

It’s the big day – my birthday. I’ve arrived at the door of 61 feeling veddy, veddy tired, achy and all around kvetchy. What up? Well, did I mention? I’m fucking 61 years old! Shit don’t work as well as it used to. I’m not so resilient and shit.

I will never again be as thin
or energetic as I was in 1973,
at the tender age of 15.
On the other hand I’m a
shit-ton more secure and sane now.

I was, pretty much, flat out exhausted after this month’s Pittsburgh trip. Exhausted and feeling failure-esque. Daddy likes to hear my stories and I couldn’t think of one to tell. All that came to mind were humorless whines and rants. So, I kept my sad yap shut. I'm just no damn fun.
 
Tomorrow,  Ten and I will head north again to Quilcyville – Cindy and Giovanni’s magical upstate Vermont patch of paradise. We’ll, once again and unbelievably for me, camp out in their wondrous yurt, swim in their river and, just generally, wander around their enchanted and enchanting farm.

Nota bene, I’ll wander NOT hike. I like being in gorgeous pastoral surroundings – woods, glens and the like – but don’t make me climb and struggle over uneven terrain to get there. If I wanted to do that I'd hit the goddamn elliptical more.

Meanwhile, here have a few words AND their REAL definitions.

Fascicle
noun [fas-i-kuhl]
a section of a book or set of books being published in installments as separate pamphlets or volumes.

Ah…no. This actually refers to the microscopic man bit of Republi/Fascist Americans, particularly after his advances have been roundly rejected/frozen out. Mind you, this is the usual sitch so fascicle is now synonymous with Republi/Fascist mini wang.

Shivaree
noun [shiv-uh-ree]
a mock serenade with kettles, pans, horns, and other noisemakers given for a newly married couple; charivari.

No, this was a Gidget-esque surf movie from the late 50s. Duh!

Subitize
verb (used without object) [soo-bi-tahyz] Psychology.
to make an immediate and accurate reckoning of the number of items in a group or sample without needing to pause and actually count them.

Nuh-huh. This is when you make something or someone ready to take a ride on a submarine. In my case, with my trés muscular claustrophobia, this would involve administering weapons grade sedatives.

Donnybrook
noun [don-ee-brook] (often initial capital letter)
an inordinately wild fight or contentious dispute; brawl; free-for-all.

Yes this is word DOES refer to a fracas, a melee but the definition isn’t precise or complete. This is, essentially, the overall state of our country as we draw closer to the 2020 elections. This refers specifically to The Criminal In Chief and his renfield, Moscow Mitch. The two of them and their angry dimwitted suckers won’t go down without a donnybrook to end all donnybrooks.

Redoubtable
adjective [ri-dou-tuh-buhl]
that is to be feared; formidable.

Nope. It’s when you’ve expressed uncertainty over something or someone and then find that you need to repeat yourself. This is just prior to disdainfully asking “What? Did I stutter?!”

Beadledom
noun [beed-l-duhm]
a gratuitous or officious display or exercise of authority, as by petty officials.

I think the word actually has something to do with the movie Beadlejuice. Ya know, the one where the crude, altogether gross and fratboy-ish (but I repeat myself) demon, played to perfection by Michael Keaton, terrorizes ghosts and live humans with his creative but nasty-ass party behavior.

So, the word REALLY means perniciously obnoxious, boorish, misogynistic and violently rape-y.

Oh wait, the movie’s spelled Beetlejuice? Huh. Nevermind.

So, Happy Birfday to me. I gotta hit the gym now so's I can work off all that carrot cake Ima eat later.
Birthday – Beatles