Dime-store Diagnosis

I had a blinding headache which lasted three straight days. Three day headaches haven’t been an unusual occurrence over this past year. Joy.

I’m loathe to take Tylenol or Ibuprofen. Why? Am I a masochist? Fuck no! I just wanna be aware of what I’m feeling, when and for how long. I want to be able to trace the catalyst if I can.

          Could this have been sparked by heat or humidity?
          Are my cheap drugstore cheaters too strong – I mebbe need a slightly weaker pair?
          Did I have my prosthetic cornea in for too many hours in a row yesterday?
OR
          Is this that damn herd of meningiomas in my brain making their presence known with authority?

And what about that prosthetic cornea anyway?

GENERALLY, I’m doing SOMEWHAT better about getting it in the old orb each morning. This'll become easier with  time and experience but progress is progressing mondo slow. Considering how much I shake (like Parkinson’s only not – mine’s NF2 related), I’ve decided that it makes sense to attempt to insert the delicate little fucker BEFORE I’ve had my morning java fix. This doesn’t negate the shakes but it helps. I think…maybe. This means I’m rising, (not so much shining), feeding our herd 'o' cat AND performing acts of hygiene (can’t shower with the lens in) without even a sip of go-juice coursing through my mega needy veins.

I fucking welcome the day when putting the damn lens in is second nature and all easy peasy versus now, where every damn morning’s a stressed up ordeal.

my bean's meningioma farm

It occurs to me that I’ve been going through this scary-ass annoying eye shit since almost the day Ten moved in (before too but the fun got ramped up these past six moths). Before that was my big fun spine bullshit. Granted I don’t exactly have a history of sparkling stellar health and, reading this here blog, he def knew what he was in for.

Still, QUELLE drag man! Also too, Ten's a saint. A saint who cooks. Am I fucking lucky OR WHAT!?

I had this daydream yesterday.

I go in to have some of the fat meningiomas that’re squatting on top of me brain removed and come out WITH hearing. The dream thinking went like this – back when I had my very first acoustic neuroma removed (at the tender age of 23), I suffered a mere 30% drop in hearing on that side. INCREDIBLE! AMAZING! Mia madre cried happy, relieved tears –‘you’ll never be deaf now!” Mega sadly and inexplicably, over the years my hearing in that ear diminished to near nothing.

My brainstorming dream posited, what if those monstro fat tumors, billed as purely ornamental and only an issue if they get big (and maybe not even then), are somehow to blame for the radical sound reduction/the loss of music?

Yup, this was a dream. My neuro team is and has been the best in the country. If the meningiomas were suppressing sound – they’d know it. Still, next time I’m in, I’ll tell them about the dream. I’ll ask about the brain mechanics and get the skinny on why this will remain in the realm of fantasy.

Yeah, I know, I gotta continue exploring paths to experiencing and enjoying music while deaf. I am. Shit takes time though and I want it NOW!