The Jack Puzzle

 What’s the deal with Jack Nicholson? He used to be a decent actor back in the ‘70s and early ‘80s, right? He wasn’t in Meryl Streep or Dustin Hoffman’s league but he was certainly respectable.

I mean…rilly now:

The Last Detail (’73)
Chinatown (’74)
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (’75)
The Shining (’80)
The Postman Always Rings Twice (’81)

These were truly GREAT flicks and he was stellar in them.

Jack though, was never movie star, charmingly handsome like Sean Connery, Donald Sutherland or Richard Harris but, in his relative youth, he cleaned up pretty decently.

 Later, somewhere in the mid/late 1980s, as he approached 50 years of age, he began looking like a saggy, skeevy, date rapey, old fuck who sits at hotel bars trying to pick up 30 years younger than him chicks. The man did not age gracefully. I know, I know, most of us don't. For every stunning 80 year old Paul Newman, there are a zillion of us mere mortals who, looks-wise, have more in common with ancient, wrinkly and bloated gerbils.

Weirdly, at a career point where Nicholson could’ve had any meaty role he wanted, he began taking lame-ass romantic lead parts like:

Terms of Endearment (’83) At least here he was Shirley MacLaine’s age appropriate boyfriend NOT the much younger Debra Winger’s beau. Oh wait, I remember him in this role now – he was fun if not so easy on the eyes.

Heartburn (’86) This is the tale of Nora Ephron’s marriage to and divorce from Carl Bernstein. Loved the book but, with Jack playing Carl, I just couldn’t dig the movie. WHO would marry, let alone have an affair with such a homely rake? Alright, I guess he played the part well BUT I still can't get why the Nora Ephron character was attracted to him.

 The Witches of Eastwick (’87) He played the supposedly irresistible Devil to three beautiful, intelligent, savvy, much younger women. Sorry, just, in no way, plausible. OK, so he’s supposed to be a supremely arrogant, manipulative shit and he nailed it. Plus, he gets a radical comeuppance in the end. So, OK, apart from the irresistible business, this works.

OK, OK, I understand. He was playing complex, ultimately unlikable characters but STILL, feature Heartburn with Raul Julia or Al Pacino as Bernstein. How about Witches of Eastwick with Peter O’Toole playing the sexy Devil? Think about Terms of Endearment with Martin Sheen playing MacLaine’s astronaut boyfriend?

The hook for these roles is charm and good looks. In these three Nicholson, to my mind, has neither. I haven’t seen a movie he’s been in since Witches and not just because of his charm and looks shortfall. He seems to be no more than a slight variation of the blustering, supposed charmer in each one. Basically playing himself versus acting, I guess.

OK wait, I DID see Mars Attacks! which came out in '96. Honestly, I don’t remember a thing about the flick.  I was surprised to read that Nicholson was in it AND in fact played, not one but TWO different characters – President Dale and a sleazy Vegas businessman. 

Jack's 83 and has been in retirement for around ten years. Supposedly that's due to having memorization problems or not being thrilled with any of the roles he's been offered. Maybe it's both.

Despite my general dislike, I feel a Jack Nicholson movie fest coming on. The dude's got a weird, TOTALLY not sexy, appeal.