Still More Questions

Hot Damn—a phrase which expresses happy surprise. Where does it come from? Why does it come up today (actually yesterday)?

Because I walked down our long driveway (approximately 50 feet/15+ meters) and then, after a short wheel chair ride, up a block of the seawall (more or less 100 feet/30.5 meters). YES, I walked all that—HOT DAMN!

Granted, my brace was on, I was using my walker and had three spotters but STILL. That’s the farthest I’ve walked since before the March surgery. Progress!

Why does my phone always auto-correct fucking (one of my favorite expletives) to ducking? Is my phone an uptight, judgmental, elitist twat? I’m thinking yes, definitely—how ‘bout you?

Why is a ‘doughnut’ named doughnut? Are there nuts in all doughnuts? No there are not. So why not call it a doughring. That’s what it is after all—a spectacularly yummy yet decidedly evil, deep fried circle of dough. Or, to be more phonetically efficient, why not call it a ‘dōring?’Just eliminate all those extra, pesky letters.

How long do disembodied clouds of pure energy live? Do they have cats? Do they ever have days when they’re cranky as all hell for no apparent reason? Is this where violent thunderstorms come from? Can I be a disembodied cloud of pure energy in my next life?

Your kids need or are required to have vaccinations for school. Necessary vaxes include:

• Chickenpox
• Diphtheria, tetanus, and pertussis (whooping cough)
• Measles, mumps, and rubella
• Polio

Why is COVID any different. Oh right, it’s only a problem for Fox watching rubes who believe any old shit as long as the hustlers validate their ridiculous and obscene hates and fears. Do any of them understand that all their sparkly mercenary grifter heroes have already been vaxxed?

Is google anyone else’s memory or is that just me? ‘Just me’ you say? Fuck!

I’m almost 63 years old (only 11 days of 62—worst year evah—left to go) and I just discovered a goddamn flock of zits. ‘the fuck’s this all about?!  At what age do I grow out of acne issues? At the rate I’m going, NEVAH. Did my skin suit get recalled by the manufacturers and I missed the call? Did I tear up the notification thinking it was junk mail?

What’s this thing with celebrities bragging about bathing less? Why are most headlines along the lines of The Daily Beast’s Please, Famous White People, Stop Telling Us You Don’t Bathe Ya know, I get it—that’s more sensational. More clicks. It’s not that most of these people don’t bathe at all, it’s that they might not bathe every single day. I imagine they still brush their respective teeth, brush their hair (if they’ve got any) and put on clean clothes daily. Also too, I really don’t give a good goddamn about the hygiene habits of the rich glitterati. They don’t live with me. I don’t work with them. Why should I give a shit?

 I think that's all my queries for today. Please let me know if you've got answers. Thenkyew.