What ever happened to the Bermuda Triangle? Do planes no longer disappear there? Is that just SO ‘60s? No one who’s anyone flies into the Triangle anymore!
For that matter, what about quicksand pits? Shouldn’t I have been pulled down into one and suffered an horrific death by now?
Birds? I thought I’d have croaked at this point from killer crow attacks.
Lava flows? I’m 63—I should’ve burnt to a crisp in one by now, right?
Spontaneous human combustion? Is that no longer a thing?
Does anyone still Stop, Drop and Roll?
Katmandu—is it no longer enlightenment HQ?
Is Bermuda still a hot honeymoon or anniversary getaway or did that Triangle stuff snuff that clean out? Also, what up with their, supposedly, pink-sand beaches. I tell ya, I was there once and didn’t see any damn pink sand.
I’m more or less elderly now—I have NOT yet been invited to join a satanic cult. What the Infernal fuck?! Do I not have enough evil potential or are Satanic cults desperately passé? Did DeJoy’s post office lose my summons to malediction in the mail? Perhaps I need to be patient, wait a few more years or dye my hair grey. Who knows?
Honestly, growing up in the ‘60s and ‘70s did NOT prep me for life in the ‘20s.
It's a secret society. If you tell anyone about it it won't be secret.
ReplyDeleteDrat! I suppose this means there’s no call center where we could, at the least, get a tracking number.
DeleteThe whole Bermuda Triangle thing was a crock. It's one of the safest places in the world to fly through and always has been. Planes disappear or crash everywhere, and it's not more common there than anywhere else. It was never anything more than hype.
ReplyDeleteConspiracy theorists gotta conspiracy.
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