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Wednesday, September 14, 2022

Chocolate, chocolate

Xocolatophobia  [ koh-koh-ley-tuh-foh-bee-uh, shoh-koh-lo- ]
     noun
an irrational or disproportionate fear of chocolate.

This is not one of my many maladies. I can say with great confidence that I've never suffered from xocolatophobia nor do I know of anyone who has. Frankly, this seems like an affliction that John Scalzi could have made up.

Will looked horrified. "What kind of monster could possibly hate chocolate?”
~ Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

“Can I come back and see you sometime?"
"Long as you bring me some chocolate," Gramma said, and smiled. "I'm partial to chocolate."
"Gramma, you're diabetic."
"I'm old, girl. Gonna die of something. Might as well be chocolate.”
~ Rachel Caine, The Dead Girls' Dance

Death by chocolate—I can think of a zillion worse ways to go. Why not die in a state of ecstasy?

He showed the words “chocolate cake” to a group of Americans and recorded their word associations. “Guilt” was the top response. If that strikes you as unexceptional, consider the response of French eaters to the same prompt: “celebration.”
~ Michael Pollan, In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto

Just the other day, I was in my neighborhood Starbucks, waiting for the post office to open. I was enjoying a chocolatey cafe mocha when it occurred to me that to drink a mocha is to gulp down the entire history of the New World. From the Spanish exportation of Aztec cacao, and the Dutch invention of the chemical process for making cocoa, on down to the capitalist empire of Hershey, PA, and the lifestyle marketing of Seattle's Starbucks, the modern mocha is a bittersweet concoction of imperialism, genocide, invention, and consumerism served with whipped cream on top.
~ Sarah Vowell

I try not to think so deeply when I’m indulging in the magnificence of good dark chocolate.  Granted, buying Fair Trade helps me stay in a chocolate orgasm state of mind.

What’s all this then?
Fair trade chocolate is chocolate that is made with cacao beans from farmers who are paid a fair price for their crop, instead of the low price set by the market. This allows farmers to lift themselves out of poverty and build a better life for their families. These farmers receive additional fair trade premiums for investing in community development. Fair trade standards also ban forced labor and child labor and encourage environmentally-sustainable farming practices. (source
Alter Eco Foods, Theo Chocolate, Evolved, UnReal, Equal Exchange, Dapaah, Endangered Species Chocolate, Beyond Good and Loving Earth are a few of the chocolatiers who are worth checking out.

What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate.
~ Katharine Hepburn

The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and Shakespeare...neither knew chocolate.
~ Sandra Boynton

The 12-step chocolate program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE!
~ Terry Moore

Who could possibly argue with such sane, sage wisdom?

Nobody knows the truffles I've seen.
~ George Lang

Life without books, chocolate & coffee is just useless.
~ Nadun Lokuliyanage

Truer words have yet to be spoken.

2 comments:

  1. Consider popcorn: from popped in wet woven wicker baskets with a hint of salt or sage to microwavable with petrochemically flavored Blast 'o Butter ... a truly American food

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    Replies
    1. mmmmmmmmm, popcorn. I'm not keen on that microwave shit. I prefer my snackies sans perfluorooctane sulfonate, thenkyewveddymuch.

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