Tell Me a Story: Consideration Won't Kill You...REALLY!

I’m now at the point where, if it’s 40 or more degrees when I leave the house for my first walk of the day, well damn—it’s warm out. Next step in the winter acclimation is when 40 degrees feels like a damn heat wave. I start thinking about shorts and tank tops. I guess I’m ready for winter, eh?

That was yesterday morning.

Ten and I were out for the morning walk along the seawall. It was 6:30 but a surprising number of folks were out dog walking/poop scooping.

An aside: the walking/poop scooping business is a not insignificant factor in why I’ll never have a dog. Cake, Coco, B.O.P. and Ralf never needed to be walked and, while I had to sift the litter box a couple times a day, that beat all hell out of taking Spot out in the snow, rain, flying octopuses or what-have-you at 6AM and then having to pick up the squishy turds and carry them home to the garbage. No thank you!

Back to our seawall crowded with canine servants though—when I’ve been in this overpopulated sitch before, the dog people usually get off the sidewalk, onto the grass strip (at least six feet from me) and wait for me to pass. Why? These nice, considerate, health minded folk have doubtless noticed that I’m piloting a big-ass walker, wearing a mask and being held onto (or followed closely) by Jen or Ten—spotters. My whole being is a huge billboard screaming HIGH RISK! Also, the sidewalk's not so wide. The vast majority of my fellow early walkers are observant, kind and smart.

Yesterday, I found the neighborhood dimwitted assholes. It was clear, as they smugly walked toward us with their dogs and steaming takeout coffee cups, that they were NOT going to so much as go single file and shift to one side of the paved, rollator friendly, path. Before they were within six feet, I lifted my walker up onto the verge, pulled my wool scarf up over my mask and faced away from them until they passed.

Of course they weren’t masked and OF COURSE I caught the weird looks they gave me—like, what’s her problem. They were clueless, lacking even a microscopic shred of awareness and just generally devoid of the important skills found in people who human correctly.

Just FY-fucking-I, the plague/COVID is still very much with us and on the rise. Again. If you see a person using a walker, wearing a mask and being spotted, get the motherfucking fuck outta the goddamn way! It won’t kill you to be kind but your lack of consideration may kill me.

I swear, I could’ve been a six foot tall ambulating plague molecule and these Caramel Brulée Latte slurping stool collectors wouldn’t have moved. NOOOOOOO, they’re fucking king and queen of the seawall—everyone/thing moves for them!

Interestingly, in this morning’s high winds (there were white caps!), Jen and I were out there hoofing it but the seawall royalty (and their coffee) were not. I suppose Fido and Buddy had to just poop in the yard or just hold it.