Search This Blog

Tuesday, January 31, 2023

I only mention it but

It is wise, on those days that I’m feeling depleted and down, to get right the fuck up out of bed when I wake, brush my teeth, wash my face, don my robe and go downstairs for a cuppa joe. No delays, no ‘I’ll just crawl under the covers and close my eyes for five more minutes.

Amazing how those minutes *poof * become hours. Yesterday I, once again, proved Newton’s First Law of Motion—the object at rest part that is.

This morning it’s snowing. Very pretty but I might just wait a wee bit longer before I tackle the day. I have, however, already accomplished the first three items on my what to do first thing list (YEA me!).

If you list your height alternately as 5’7” and 6’ (quite a range there Gym) it might be a wise move to never be photographed next to someone who also and consistently claims to be 5’7”. Granted, Matt Gaetz is a sack of dirtbagian lawn gnome shit BUT at least he seems not to fib about his height. There’s absolutely zero shame in being of less than average stature (which, by the by, is 5’9” for American men). Why the freakish, glaring insecurity, Gymy? AND if Ohio’s Embarrassment lies about something as inconsequential as his height, what else is he being a duplicitous pool of tapeworm diarrhea about? Everything?

Yes, I think ‘everything’ is a safe bet.
In 1995, Jane Percy became the Duchess of Northumberland. With the title came a castle and grounds. Her husband, the new Duke of Northumberland tasked her with doing something about the gardens (which, at the time was, essentially, a no longer used Christmas tree farm). Instead of planting a bunch of roses and hedgerows she got wildly creative.

There are now waterfalls, roses, meadows of wildflowers, mini golf, a Tai Haku Cherry orchard AND an iron gated garden filled with poisonous plants.

The Alnwick Garden now gets more than 350,000 visitors per year. Not bad for a little project to keep the wife occupied.

Wait, what’s that I said—a garden of lethal, poisonous plants?

How very Addams Family of the Duchess.

An aside: Morticia and Gomez have black (or exceedingly dark brown) hair. Wednesday and Pugsley have medium to light brown hair. Was Lurch the sperm donor?

Back to the garden, supposedly the duchess got the idea after seeing Catherine de Medici’s ‘poison garden.’ Cathy’s wasn't specifically a 'poison garden' though—the main purpose was the growing of ingredients for perfumes.

There's a note on Alnwick's website:

Visitors are strictly prohibited from smelling, touching, or tasting any plants, although some people still occasionally faint from inhaling toxic fumes while walking in the garden. (source)
GREAT marketing! This is billed as the botanical garden equivalent of a carnival house of horrors. Not everyone is bowled over and drawn to Alnwick though.
First of all, you are typically prohibited from touching or tasting plants in a botanical garden.  Second of all, what “fumes?”  Do they have a Gasoline Tree?  I’m curious which particular plant or fume is causing people to pass out.  Third, how is it that these potent toxic fumes are remaining within the confines of the gate in an outdoor, open-air garden?  It’s remarkably telling that to enter this oh-so-dangerous area, it requires no health waiver whatsoever, and costs £13.00 (£5.00 for kids).
As is the case with many tourist traps, the most insidious element of a poison garden is probably the gift shop prices, and the true history is far more nuanced. (source)

I'd be interested in checking the joint out but not enough to travel the whole way there and plonk down £13.00. Also, they have Marijuana plants but keep them in a cage. Gee, Reefer Madness much?

Okay, enough sluggardly crap from me. It's time to get dressed and get on the elliptical. *groan*

No comments:

Post a Comment