Headlines

FINALLY two of my long awaited library books have come in. What this means is that I can finally sink into a good mystery (Louise Penney, The Beautiful Mystery) and a historical fiction/fantastical horror, (Matt Ruff, The Destroyer of Worlds). This as opposed to my bad habit of reading the news.

Yesterday’s headlines were insultingly vacuous.

Elon Musk sends warning about Donald Trump

Jesus matzo ball Christ, here are two total douche rockets whose opinions I couldn’t give less of a fuck about. Also too, a little late to the warning game aren’t ya, Eloi old buddy.

I don’t need to read this—PASS!

Fortune of world’s richest person Bernard Arnault tops $200bn

That’s nice and what does this ridiculously über wealthy individual do to earn this pile?

He’s the CEO of some company that makes ugly brown purses that look like small gym bags with warts, also, overpriced perfumes, champagne and other things that interest folks with more money than humanity.

He sounds perfectly useless EXCEPT he puts a nice chunk of change toward worthy causes. He’s not in the top ten of all time but still, not a slacker. 

FYI, here's America’s top 25 philanthropists. n.b., Apartheid Clyde is not on the list. Shocked? What, no? Me neither.

Sarah Ferguson, the ex (and continuing roomie) of the Queen’s son (the one who was an enthusiastic customer at Jeffrey Epstein’s House of Pubescent Girls—not the one who’s now king), has some thoughts on how royals should properly behave. She makes sure to add that she doesn’t judge. Neither does she understand what that word means.

Hon, you’re absurd. If you were a character in Cinderella you’d be the idiot evil stepsister who cut off her heel to fit into Cindy’s glass slipper. You live with a pedophile!

'I didn't retire until 99': 100-year-olds share their secrets to a long and happy life’

I’m pretty much full on sick of the clueless fuckwits who crow proudly about the long lives they’re living. Guess what, one can eat healthy, go easy on the inebriants, exercise, meditate regularly and still get dead too young.

Living, happily and healthfully, until you’re 100 is as much or more about genetics as anything else. Fer fuck’s sake, Keith Richards anyone?

Also, how ‘bout that old bank account? The financially comfortable live longer and that’s a fact. 

I totally get it.  More dough means being able to afford healthier foods. It means you can afford to go to the doctor for regular checkups and buy needed medicine. A financial cushion translates into less stress/fewer worries which can translate into longer life. Of course the rich live longer.

That's it for me and the news for the next few days.