Motha

Did you know?

The American incarnation of Mother’s Day was created by Anna Jarvis in 1908 and became an official U.S. holiday in 1914. Jarvis would later denounce the holiday’s commercialization and spent the latter part of her life trying to remove it from the calendar.
~~~
Another precursor to Mother’s Day came from the abolitionist and suffragette Julia Ward Howe. In 1870 Howe wrote the “Mother’s Day Proclamation,” a call to action that asked mothers to unite in promoting world peace. In 1873 Howe campaigned for a “Mother’s Peace Day” to be celebrated every June 2. (source)

The current Mother’s Day is about celebrating the love and appreciation you feel for the person who birthed and/or raised you (and spending money). I don’t feel either so this day holds nothing for me. Rather, it holds nothing but pain.  Okay, that’s awfully melodramatic, reductive and not entirely true either. My feelings about my mother even now at this advanced age of 64, are complicated and certainly not all bad.

Having said that, not all of us had the mother we needed. Me? A mashup of Morticia Addams, Ellen Ripley and Sarah Connor would’ve been more appropriate. You know, artistic, not all judgey and limited by 1950s gender expectations—someone fierce as all hell too. Loving and affectionate would’ve been nice as well.

I confess that I’ve been jealous of friends who were lucky enough to have attentive, supportive mothers. I’ve tried to hide it but doubt I at all was successful. One thing I’ve learned about myself over these long years is that I’m an absurdly easy read. Amongst other activities, I should never play poker.

Maybe I should treat Mother’s Day like Christmas and find my own way to spend the time. That is, while everyone else is taking their mums out for bunch, sending flowers and chocolate or tearfully visiting graves, I could…what? 

• Have an Alien marathon with snacks of dark chocolate covered cherries, pizzellis and Irish soda bread (all favorites of mine and mother).

• Spend the day reading whilst sipping Grasshoppers in memory of my mother figure Mary Ann (an independent woman and a book editor in NYC)—my father’s sister.

• Sit on the beach, watch the waves, throw treats to the seagulls and then come home for a nap with my little boy Cake. Highly meditative, no?
  

I guess these are all mother related too. I've tried ignoring the day but that works about as well as ignoring Xmas. Maybe I could celebrate International Women's Day on the second Sunday of May (instead of on March 8th)?