Headlines

As if the yachting class aren’t tormented enough (they’re not), the Aeolus: 'Impossible satellite' is ready to fall to Earth. It ought to come down somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean sometime today. Where? I mean the Atlantic’s kinda big—will it fall in my front yard? Unknown. Hopefully, no.

They (the engineers) now need the ability either to pinpoint their fall back to Earth to a safe zone or be sure of burning up completely as they come through the atmosphere.

And the more-than-one-tonne Aeolus fails on both counts. Its propulsion system is too weak to fully direct where it comes out of the sky and up to 20% of its hardware is likely to survive to the surface of the Earth.

Oopsie! I think I'll stay inside today.
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Connecticut pastor fatally struck by police cruiser while getting his mail 

I saw just the first two words of this headline, Connecticut pastor…, and automatically figured it was yet another clergy-child-sexual-assault story. Nope. I was pretty surprised that it wasn’t too. I mean, these white christian church clowns are only in the news when they’re praying to their prosperity god over Cheeto’s bowed, shellacked head OR for sexually abusing children.

Wouldn’t it be nice if they got in the news for, ya know, doing good, selfless deeds. Feeding the hungry? Housing the homeless? Comforting the sick? Giving water to the thirsty? Opposing slavery? I’m talking about the whole acts of mercy thing that these right wing, Jesus and flag humping, shameless charlatans seem to skip right over.
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Singapore executes woman for the first time in 20 years

What was Saridewi Djamani’s crime? Drug trafficking. Specifically 1.06 ounces of heroin.

Singapore has some of the world's toughest anti-drug laws, which it says are necessary to protect society.

Singapore law specifies that the death penalty will be imposed on anyone caught trafficking more than 500g of cannabis or 15g of heroin.

What the doobified fuck? A pound of happy, calming weed gets you dead? That’s insanity. 

More insanity? In the "pro-life" (HAH!) red state of Arkansas:

... House Bill 1174 says that “all unborn children should be protected under the state homicide laws as all other persons.” In addition to the woman who aborts a fetus, friends, partners, medical providers, and anyone else who helped her decide to end a pregnancy would be liable for the death penalty as accomplices under the Arkansas bill. (source)

Can we move these skeevevoidian, brain damaged, pandering death merchants out of the U.S.? Maybe plant them where Aeolus is set to crash land?
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Donald Trump faces further charges in Mar-a-Lago documents inquiry 

Another day and another criminal charge for Cheeto, the world’s most incompetent dictator wannabe. In this one he’s accused of pressuring an employee to delete security footage. This would be footage of Cheeto’s faithful Mar-a-Cockroach minions moving boxes of his stolen classified files so’s the Feds couldn’t find them.

Happy news is that today is FRIDAY and the heat's supposed to break by Sunday morning. Thank the baby Bast for that!