March

Briton Rivière, Una and Lion

Well thank fucking Bast—February’s finally over! It’s still winter BUT spring is closer. All in all, this winter has been  pretty mild and March isn’t coming in like a lion as the old maxim promises. 

 By the by, that saying—March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb—possibly originated in astrology. Leo, the lion constellation, is the rising sign in March. When we reach April, it is Aries the lamb.

No, I don’t follow or subscribe to astrology woo woo but I do find it interesting and entertaining. It’s certainly far more engaging and thought inspiring than most misogynistic religions. Also, I don’t think any wars have ever been fought over the elements and rising signs. At least not in the past couple millennia.

Did you know? During World War II British spies hired an astrologer to write Hitler and other Nazi leaders' horoscopes. This was, amongst other things, an attempt to anticipate their next moves.

His task…was to counter a convention of pro-German astrologers that had predicted Hitler would win the war. Billing himself as "The Modern Nostradamus," de Wohl proclaimed the stars showed the opposite — that Hitler would lose. (source) 

Pay the charlatans and they'll tell you precisely what you want to hear. Turns out de Wohl, like his pro-Nazi counterparts, was a flimflammer, a flamboyant con artist. Yeah, I’m shocked, I tell you, stunned and amazed. /s

Almost 40 years later, the U.S. president (Ronnie, Destroyer of the Middle Class, Iran-Contra igniter and AIDS ignorer) and his wife regularly consulted and followed the guidance of their own personal astrologer, San Francisco socialite Joan Quigley.

“I had astrologer friends call me saying, ‘Reagan must have had his chart done,’” after they noticed many of Reagan’s political moves were timed for optimal celestial intervention. Quigley demurred, “I just said, ‘Yes. He must have been consulting someone.’” (source)

Don Regan said that “virtually every major move and decision the Reagans made during my time as White House Chief of Staff was cleared in advance with this woman in San Francisco who drew up horoscopes to make certain that the planets were in a favorable alignment for the enterprise.” 

I wonder if Cheato has an astrologer. Nah. Dementia Don only consults himself, whack-a-loon televangelists and imbecilic Fox talking heads. An astrologer would be a big step up. 

Back to this being March though...the weather will be getting nicer which will, hopefully, ease my stress levels. This month I need to get my tax prep done, go through a zillion and a half pre-brain surgery tests (MRIs and CT scans) and tie up a shit-ton of other, assorted loose ends. Surgery is on April 9th. Yes, it's been touted as a much simpler procedure than my usual slice ups BUT I wanna make sure that all I'll need to think about post-op is Cake, ice cream and whatever book's on my bedside table.