Sharkland

What if people were more like Greenland’s sharks?

The ages of Greenland sharks were determined using radiocarbon dating of eye proteins revealing that one female shark was estimated to be about 400 years old. This makes it the longest living vertebrate known on Earth, surpassing the previous record holder, a bowhead whale estimated to be 211 years old.
~~~
According to the research, these animals only reach sexual maturity when they reach 4m (13 feet) in length, which, based on their estimated range of up to 400 years, would not occur until they are approximately 150 years old.

(source)

Just imagine what the world might be like if humans lived to be 400 years old and couldn’t make babies until we were at least 150 years old.

By the time sharks get the urge and ability to spawn, they’ve lived, more or less, 38% of their lives. They’ve learned a few things in that time—absorbed knowledge and grown.

If humans were like our sharky buds, we wouldn’t be able to make bambinos until we had, minimum, 32 candles on our birthday cakes. Just think of how many more wanted, expected, planned-for humans would be on the planet if we didn’t hit our baby-making years until our early 30s.

We could spend our teens and 20s being careless and freewheeling—just consensually rutting like the mammals that we are but  withOUT prego consequences. Awesome+, eh? Think of how many more happy, well adjusted adults there would be if we all got our wild years done PRE-babies. How many of those kiddles would also then be happy and well adjusted as adults?

Oh wait, I’m seeing flaws in my fabulous idea. Babies aren’t necessarily wanted or planned just because the shaggers are 30-something.

Look at Elon MusKKK—he sired the first of his 11 children (had with three different mothers) in 2002 at the age of 30. He and his first wife had a pack of six before he moved on, in 2008, to spouse number two. By the by, at least five of the six with uterus number one were conceived via IVF. The children were very much wanted and yet Space Karen left when the youngest set (triplets) were barely two years old.

Who knows the full deal on this wackaloon and his herd of offspring. Point of the story is that, while holding off reproduction until humans are theoretically more mature is smart, there’s no guarantee that the parental units are better, more stable and wise at 35 than they were at 18 or 20.

How ‘bout this—given the planet’s limited resources, intense overcrowding and the amount of destruction we, supposedly, higher lifeforms have wrought—our theoretical God, supposed creator of humanity, installs an upgrade/a bug fix. God's workaround is a fertility time limit of five years—from 35 to 40. This might lead to a greater percentage of parents who are, conceivably, more advanced (intelligence, sagacity and maturation-wise) and better able to care for and raise happy kids.

We dim humans were clearly released before all the bugs, glitches and assorted defects had been worked out.