Caffeine, Caffeine, Caffeine

It’s been years since I was a regular coffee drinker. I probably haven’t been a regular imbiber since before my surgery-a-thon (starting in ’20). Why did I, more or less, stop? It’s kind of hard to do all that necessary recovery napping while cranked up on go juice. Having said that, I still like the aroma and taste of a nice cup of Italian roast.

While at MGH on Monday, Ten and I stopped for a cuppa and a pastry (apple turnover for me, elephant ear for Ten). I had no more than a half a cup’s worth before it was time to hit the Cancer and Other Assorted Tumors Department. It was early—just after 8:30AM.

Imagine my surprise when, 16 hours later, at near 1AM, I could NOT fall asleep. HOW could the caffeine still be in my system? I mean, I’d had an active day. I’d hydrated. No naps were taken. I should have been out and snoring to raise the dead…right? What the Java-soaked fuck?!

I think I nodded off for, at best, an hour before *PING* I was awake, not bushy tailed but ready to go again. Yes, I blame the beans of the gods. I hadn’t ingested any other sparking substances that would lead to this disturbance in the sleep force.

What the wide-eyed, buzzing fuck? I think it’s the news. It keeps newsing and not in a good way.

The only positive thing about von ShitzenPantz being off his emotional support golf course is that the mainstream media has, for now, shifted from their 24/7 Biden’s-old-and-should-step-down disingenuous and potentially democracy-killing shit. Instead, they’re all on the trail of badly covering the Paprika Puke’s “assassination” theater and his other look-at-me-not-my-crimes-and-spectacular-failures antics. Interesting that none of these highly paid, professional journalists have mentioned that, as in court, Donnie Demento fell asleep at his big RNC coronation party. 

It’s becoming clear to me that his Heritage Foundation, Project 2025 backers are fully aware that their doddering fool is falling apart and fast. So much so that they’ve pulled the eyelinered up, babyfaced but middle aged, not-a-complete-imbecile, flexibly moraled VP choice out of their collective unwashed ass. 

Vance is vile.

Amongst other things:

• He supports a national 15-week abortion ban (because, with his law degree and venture capital work experience, he obviously knows way more about every woman’s health needs than her and her doctor).

• He has said he would have thrown democracy in the sewer and not certified the results of the 2020 election if he’d been vice president. Such a rule-of-law patriot!

• Claims Democrats sparked the Orange Autocrat’s assassination attempt.

• Despite calling Cheato “cultural heroin,” “America’s Hitler” and an “idiot,” by the start of the Ohio senate run, he was backing and touting trump’s schemes.

Money talks and rich fucks (such as Space Karen, AKA Rocket Nonce, AKA Apartheid Clyde) are queued up to throw tanker ships full of buckos his way.

Famously and supposedly, Vance grew up poor, in a violent, unstable home (welcome to the club, fuckface). He joined the marines and went to college on the GI plan. A plan, by the by, which he and his Heritage backers want to ax. (it’s the Republican “I got mine—screw you” way) Yale Law School was next and then on to venture capitalist megabucks.

Vance went from being a sympathetic-ish figure to being a soul-sucking tool for the obscenely rich in no time at all. How 'bout that. Depending on how many reality based Americans voters show up to the polls, depending on whether the Burn It All Down squad continues to value their sanctimony and imagined purity over the lives and experiences of those of us who failed to be born white, male, healthy and heterosexual, depending on Putin’s election fuckery team, Vance is poised to be a heartbeat away from the presidency. The bought and paid for MAGAt Supreme Court will give it their royal stamp of approval.

IF Dumbfuck Donnie makes it to November and wins, he’ll be no more than a puppet, a grossly animated, hate spewing, inane stooge (even more of one than he is now), tweeting incoherently and making rare, pathetic appearances. Vance will be the Republi/Fascist’s slightly more presentable, less incoherent stooge. How big of a bribe is Vance taking to sell out our country?

Will the Emperor of Incontinence, the Pedophile Who Would Be King’s heart finally give out from his hamberders, fried chicken buckets, Diet Cokes, Doritos and Adderall addictions? Will the right wing puppet masters put Cheato out to pasture in favor of the less flamboyant, more easily manipulated Vance?

If the Tangerine Treasonweasel dies before the election and is replaced by a gibberish and lie belching animatronic hippo, would his cult even notice?