Recently Deceased Befouled Croutons

How do you befoul a cube of stale bread? All you need do is douse it in a bit of feral cat piss, leave it in the hot July sun for a day—et voila, you now have a stinky, soggy, ruined crouton.

Here in this country of the damned (formerly known as the United States of America) we now have a few freshly dead befouled croutons.

1) Remember the Pizzagate idiot—Edgar Maddison Welch? He’s the gun-humping, gullible imbecile who shot up a restaurant because he’d heard they were running a child abuse ring in the basement (a basement they don’t have). Welch got out of jail but *oopsie* pulled a gun on a cop at a traffic stop. Yep, idiot boy is now a smelly, dead crouton.

Welch went into the Comet Ping Pong brandishing a three-foot-long rifle with a loaded revolver on his hip. Numerous children were in the facility at the time, and both customers and employees ran from the pizzeria as Welch looked around, at one point firing into a closet and damaging a computer. No one was injured and he eventually surrendered to police. (source)

2) Anita Bryant, the bouffant headed, anti-human rights campaigner, faux “christian,” Florida orange juice shill, much deserved pie-in-the-face recipient, and frequent butt of jokes died in December. She was 84.

I only mention it but yesterday was The Amazing Bob’s birthday. Had he lived, he would have been 83. How in fuck’s name were TAB and Anita from the same generation? While he was protesting with Vietnam Veterans Against the War she was singing "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" during the half-time show of 1971’s  Super Bowl as well as viciously promoting discrimination against gay people.

I’m surprised this failed pool of shellacked demon spooge made it such to an advanced age. I would’ve thought that all the hate and hypocrisy flowing though her veins would have taken her out much earlier.

Her reputation all but synonymous with intolerance, her show business career evaporated, and by the late 1990s she had filed for bankruptcy. (source)

GOOD!

3) Not an American but still a vile racist, a Holocaust denier who promoted putting people with AIDS into concentration camps—Jean-Marie Le Pen. He was 96. Fer fuck’s sake, why does such a disgusting, rotted example of humanity get to live so long when good people like Rachel Corrie, Tomas Young, Rev. George Washington Lee, and so many other proponents of peace and justice don’t?

In the hours after his death, hundreds of people took to the streets in cities across France to celebrate his demise, singing, letting off fireworks and making toasts with champagne. (source)

Just imagine the worldwide celebrations when Trump kicks the bucket. It may become our next national holiday.