Communication Breakdown

If you have an important message to convey, it would seem all gee-duh-RILLY to first know your audience and speak their language, whether that’s English, Swahili or ASL. Can’t manage that? Find a bridge. In my case, if I can’t read your lips and you don’t know ASL or how to fingerspell, write it down. Have horrid handwriting? Open a text doc and keyboard it in.

Here’s the thing, I totes bear responsibility for understanding what’s being said to me. If I see that I’m not grasping, not following, I need to raise the white flag of paper and pen and ask:

könnten Sie bitte aufschreiben?
¿podría escribir eso?
pourriez-vous s'il vous plaît écrire cela?
Bunu yazmak misin?

Yo, can you put pen to paper here for me? Thanks!

Sounds simple, eh? Sure. Of course!

Em, not so fast.

If I blink, sneeze, need to take a moment to put eye drops in (this happens a few times an hour -- since my last big brain do up, I rock the serious Dry Eye Syndrome) or if my attention is elsewhere – maybe I didn’t get enough sleep or I'm consumed with worry about my herd of cat OR perhaps I'm looking at the doc/art under discussion and not at your face – I won’t know that your lips were moving, that you were attempting to communicate with me.

In short -- if my eyes aren’t on your lovely visage I can’t ‘hear’ you. I may not be able to read your lips anyway but seeing them move is the first step.

Communication Breakdown, It's always the same,
I'm having a nervous breakdown, Drive me insane!

Like Wifi and cell phone coverage my connectivity will drop out on occasion and I won't necessarily know when it has. Sometimes I’m gonna miss important instructions and that’s gonna suck for you and me both. The odd mistake is inevitable.

When this has happened, certain individuals, who will not be named here, have assumed that I’m not so bright, a little slow perhaps.

Oh please! I’m no Feynman BUT I’m generally a pretty smart cookie (oatmeal, butterscotch with a sprinkling of spinach, thanks) -- the problem isn’t with my intellect, it’s the input device, my peripheral -- the mic’s irretrievably busted.

Do us deafies a solid, a mitzvah -- don't assume we're simpleminded if we make a mistake or don't understand you. Try speaking, writing, gesturing in a way that can be understood.

We all bear responsibility for effective communication...and shit.

Can Spring Be Far Behind

"O Wind, If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?"
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

 “In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”
- Albert Camus

“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.”
- Anne Bradstreet

“There are two ways of spreading light; to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.”
- Edith Wharton 

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."
- Charles Dickens

"Therefore my age is as a lusty winter, Frosty, but kindly:"
- Shakespeare from As You Like It

"Sometimes our fate resembles a fruit tree in winter. Who would think that those branches would turn green again and blossom?, but we hope it, we know it."
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 

"There are only two seasons -- Winter and Baseball."
- Bill Veeck

"Oh, I love the night life
I got to boogie on the disco 'round, oh yeah"

Alicia Bridges -- I Love the Nightlife

'Tis The Season

Why did I hunt down The Amazing Bob, clock him a good one over the head and drag him back into my oil paint soaked lair like so many highly focused, artistic Neanderthals before me?

I imagine I’ve covered this before but the summary, the recap is this:

* His looks (duh) -- Jen says, when she first met him, she thought he was an ex rock star. He had the vibe goin' on. Still does.  

* That sense of humor -- I blame all punning that I might engage in on him. He is totes responsible. Truth!

* His clear intelligence and pragmatism --  I've often said that, if TAB doesn't have the dope on something, it's knowledge value is negligible. OK there may be some hyperbole action going on there but you catch my drift, eh?

* The brill laid backitudeness and kindness 

AND though not on display all the way back then, I was certain they'd show. Yes, I'm talkin' 'bout his brill baking chops. I had a stunning moment of clairvoyance way back in my late 20s and, boyhowdy, thank the little baby Bast for that!

Yes, we are in the midst of gingerbread season and I couldn’t be happier on a bet.

Fa la la la la and shit.

Seven Things Louder Than Our Nearby Wind Turbines

Today's guest post is by Miles Grant (AKA The Green Miles, AKA The Amazing Bob's tremendous son, AKA my spectacular step son). Miles lives in Fairhaven, Massachusetts and is the senior communications manager for the National Wildlife Federation. 
____________________________

We recently bought a home in Fairhaven, MA about a half a mile away from the town's two wind turbines. There are homes that are closer to the Fairhaven turbines than ours and some of them have legitimate concerns. But "wind turbine syndrome" creator Nina Pierpont claimed symptoms from people who live more than twice as far away as I do, and many members of the anti-wind group "WindWise" live even further away than that.

Here's my list of Things That Are Louder Than Our Nearby Wind Turbines:

1) Bugs. There's a conservation area next door and in warm weather the bugs are pretty loud from sunset until well into the night. 

2) Birds. They start up around sunrise. 

3) Planes. Lots of small ones heading to New Bedford Regional Airport, occasional big ones going overhead to Logan or TF Green, and the rare military plane out of bases on Cape Cod.

4) Vehicles. Even though we're on a small side street, we can still hear the distant-but-steady hum of traffic from a nearby main road for 18 hours a day.

5) Air conditioners. In the summer there's a steady hum of central units from neighboring homes.
Recess. There's an elementary school about a thousand feet away.

6) A foghorn. The foghorn on the New Bedford hurricane barrier can be heard from two miles away.

7) The wind itself. If it blows more than 10 miles an hour, it's hard to hear anything else over the rustling trees & leaves.

 But there was one night this summer ... when the wind was blowing just the right way ... when the bugs had quieted down ... I woke up in the middle of the night, and went over to the window and leaned in, and thought in the distance I heard a faint noise ... then suddenly I heard a much louder one.

"What the hell are you doing?" my fiancee said. "Come back to bed, weirdo."

I'm not trying to mock those with legitimate concerns -- turbines should be sited using the best available science, like the American Wind Energy Association's Wind Energy Siting Handbook.

I'm trying to mock our elected officials in places like the State House, Plymouth and Fairhaven who tie themselves into pretzels trying to please every anti-wind activist -- no matter how many miles those activists live from an actual turbine -- even though Massachusetts voters know that in this life, there are some noises up with which you must put.

Crossposted at The Green Miles

Wild Things

Yesterday we had yet another snow storm and it’s not even officially winter yet. Winter Solstice is not until Saturday.

‘the hell?!

According to meteorologist David Epstein at Boston.com’s Weather Wisdom:

Meteorological winter begins December 1st, meaning the next 90 days are the coldest of the year.

Oh. But still, the last time I recall having snow this early and heavy was the year Jen, Oni, The Amazing Bob and I moved down here to Valhalla by the Sea. Move In Day was December second, 2003.

The day began a little drizzly -- that turned into slashing sleet and then snow. Jen and I had packed up my ancient Volvo wagon with all the delicates, paintings and cats. The plan was that we’d motor down, get the cats secured, turn the heat on and all that -- the menfolk would stay behind with our racing team of movers.

That winter was all snow all the time or so it seemed. When the plows deigned to come down our street, they created towering drifts and walls of the white stuff. Our corner of the Neck resembled the snow covered hedge maze in The Shining though ours was snow through and through -- no hedge.

The Farmer’s Almanac says this:

Winter will be colder and drier than normal, although snowfall will be above normal in most of the region. The coldest periods will be in early and mid-December and in early to mid-February. The snowiest periods will be in early and mid-December, and in early and mid-February.

‘drier than normal, although snowfall will be above normal in most of the region.’ How can it be drier than normal with above normal snowfall at the same time? Sentence structure issue or Magic 8 Ball style prognosticating?

No matter, I want to be prepared. Specifically, I want our outdoor herd of cat to be OK -- particularly our Schmooze King Rocco. That’s why I bought the heated cat house. Sadly, not only is Rocco uninterested in crossing it's threshold, the heating element seems to be non functioning.

Get the damn camera out of my face!

Donna has a sad.

To prep for yesterday’s storm, I put his plush cat cave into the big cardboard box that his house came in. He loves it. The snow didn’t get in and he was less cold and wet than otherwise. Success. Yea.

He’s snuggled in there now after coming out for his brekkie of Friskies Chicken in Gravy over kibble.

I have invited him in on a number of occasions but, while he’s become Most Affectionate Beast Evah, he’s not quite up for this next level of commitment.

Wild thing, you make my heart sing
You make everything, groovy   
I think I love you

In other cat news, Coco felt the need to sleep on my tummy ALL of last night. Doormat that I am, I couldn’t bring myself to displace her by rolling onto my side. Then, around three AM, she started purring like a speeding freight train. Yeah, I didn’t hear it but, boyhowdy, her vibrations were enough to wake the dead. Me that is.

Good kittens.
Hendrix -- Wild Thing

Ground Control to Captain Kirk

The Amazing Bob and I have been watching old episodes of Star Trek -- the original series. Why? You have to ask? The show was awesome! OK, it was often awesome. As a severe and semi humorless wee lass of ten, I felt that Shatner was a painfully, embarrassingly ham handed actor. I could NOT understand, amongst many things, why he and not Spock, who was so much more attractive and calm, would always get the girl.

Eons later, when The Next Generation came out, I was happily surprised, stunned even, that the captain, Jean Luc Picard, was a Shakespearean actor. He had all the believability and gravitas that Shatner lacked.

I was 29 and oh so serious. Still.

Somewhere along the way, I came to enjoy Captain Kirk’s over the topness. I suppose watching Chris Pine in the 2009 Star Trek and Into Darkness helped me to see Shatner's performances in fresh light.

In any case, TAB and I popped a disk into the box after dinner last night and what came up? Space Seed. Fab-ola! I don’t recall ever seeing this one before and what a stone treat to see Ricardo Montalban in his original Khan role! (Damn, that man was studly!)

From Star Trek.com

Named after an infamous Australian penal colony, the S.S. Botany Bay was converted into a "sleeper ship" and launched in 1996 with refugees from the Eugenics Wars, namely Khan Noonien Singh and his band of genetically-bred "supermen." The launch was kept secret in order to not alarm a war-weary population that the tyrant who controlled more than one-fourth of the planet from 1992-96 was still alive. After being defeated in Earth's Eugenics Wars, Khan and his followers hoped to find another world to conquer and rule.

From Memory Alpha.org -- The Eugenics Wars

The Eugenics Wars (or the Great Wars) were a series of conflicts fought on Earth between 1992 and 1996. The result of a scientific attempt to improve the Human race through selective breeding and genetic engineering, the wars devastated parts of Earth, by some estimates officially causing some 30 million deaths, and nearly plunging the planet into a new Dark Age.

Fascinating stuff. Really!

Here’s the thing -- I’m used to the make up, special effects and continuity of present day productions. I’d forgotten the skunky cheese factor of 1960s sci fi shows/films.

In the 1967 show, Khan’s skin tone was horribly, laughably, obviously greasepaint.

Khan was from India. Instead of hiring an appropriately hued actor, they darkened Montelban up. In the 1982 movie though, he was more pasty white than me. Worse yet, in the 2009 and ’13 movies, he was played by Benedict Cumberbatch -- an alabaster skinned Brit.

New comic book explains Khan's evolution from Latino Ricardo Montalban to the very white Benedict Cumberbatch.

How Khan's ethnicity will change from Indian to Latino to Caucasian is obviously a big question the series is going to answer — though we're not sure how literally whitewashing an ethnic character is going to damp down any outcry. 

OK, clearly I need to hit the comic book store.

Then, and THEN, there’s Spock’s ears. Mister Spock’s ears in 1967 were...well, please see the illustration at left. In the later movies they were far less theatrical. And the 21st century young Spock’s receivers are even less less Bilbo Baggins-y.


OK, OK, I'll stop with the total geek-a-troid-ness. Sheesh.
Space Oddity -- Bowie

Scenes from a Fast Trip

View of Pittsburgh from the Fort Pitt Bridge

How the world appeared as we drove to Logan at 4 AM

 I've kvetched about the absolute dearth of breakfast joints open early at Logan airport. There's one. A promising looking diner-esque sort of place.

The food was painfully mediocre, the service wickedly slow but the coffee wasn't bad and I liked the atmosphere at least.

“What is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? - it's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.” 
-- Jack Kerouac

Pastel Rothko in flight view

 “what matters most is how well you walk through the fire”  

-- Charles Bukowski

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.” 

-- Mark Twain

"I still enjoy traveling a lot. I mean, it amazes me that I still get excited in hotel rooms just to see what kind of shampoo they've left me."
-- Bill Bryson

Jen, Michal and me

The first snow
the leaves of the daffodil
bending together  
-- Matsuo Basho

Snowstorm, blizzard, gale
flood, hurricane, typhoon, hail
It’s all…whatever
-- Praetori

“All Heaven and Earth
Flowered white obliterate...
Snow...unceasing snow”  
-- Hashin

and lastly, from Raymond Carver:

“Woke up this morning with a terrific urge to lie in bed all day and read.” 

A fine idea!

I still enjoy traveling a lot. I mean, it amazes me that I still get excited in hotel rooms just to see what kind of shampoo they've left me.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/b/bill_bryson.html#iB4s9vsFSCYseLMW.99

Storm Heroes -- Now with Updatiness

Note to self -- ALWAYS triple check your flight reservations before buying. ALWAYS.

I’d thought our return flight from Western Pennsylvania was for 6 AM. Early yes but good as this would put us back in Valhalla before the storm began.

Nope, lift off was for 6 PM. Doh. That’d have us, if the flight wasn’t cancelled, landing in Boston at 8:30 PM at, potentially, the height of the storm. Joy.

After our stressful day in Indiana (PA) we figured we’d clock some rack time, then go over to the Jet Blue counter and beg for mercy. ‘Get us on an earlier ride PLEASE!’

Why the hard day? We were visiting my father who is not the strong, healthy, young bull of old. Nope, my poor Poppy is suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous aging. In a perfect world we would become, as The Amazing Bob puts it, free form floating, sentient entities -- liberated from the tyranny of these all too often, inadequate, malfunctioning skin suits.

In lieu of that lovely free floating, cloud-like state of being, we’re stuck with these low tech, glitchy carcasses that seem to pick the worst moments to shit the bed...so to speak.

Let’s just say that Jen and I are now scarred for life //snark...sort of//, required great infusions of the grape as well as dark chocolate covered cherries. We’ll leave it at that, K?

So, there we were, next morning, waking up at our fabulous airport hotel (which I booked thinking that our flight was at six in the morning not evening). OK, I was up, Jen was still dead to the world at seven. I wanted to hit the Jet Blue counter ultra early in order to, if possible, snag berths on the 11 AM Boston boat. I figured we’d be outta luck but had to try.

The wonderfully helpful, pleasant and efficient Emily Burman and Amanda Felton saved the day. They got us rebooked and didn’t charge us for the switch either -- how kind and fab is that, eh?! One thing though, they needed Jen’s ID as well as mine to complete the deal. Thank Bast for text messaging, Jen being a light sleeper and fleet footed as well. She tossed on some duds and joined me at the counter within five minutes.

I only mention it but the graciously competent service that we received from Emily and Amanda is just one reason why I fly Jet Blue when I go to Pittsburgh. They’ve got more non-stops and better prices than most other carriers too. I’ve flown US Air (previously known as Allegheny Air, AKA Agony Air) and United both of which had adequate leg room only if you’re no more than five feet tall. Plus, their customer service folks would be more at home at Walmarts or Comcast.

Interestingly, Business Insider rates United as the worst airline regarding customer satisfaction with US Air fairing only slightly better.

As ACSI's commentary points out, "high ticket cost and poor service are not a winning combination."

So then -- YEA US, we got home before the worst of the storm.
Heroes -- Bowie

UPDATE!

I emailed Emily to thank her once again. She wrote back with this wild news:

'The 6:00 flight you were originally on canceled right around 11:45am. Just around the time you were taking off.'

 WOW! Jen and my worst fear was that the flight would be canceled and we'd be stuck sleeping in the airport last night without our warm cats and husbands. If not for Emily and Amanda (and my stress induced inability to sleep) that's where we would have been.