That's What I Want

The best things in life are free
But you can give them to the birds and bees
I need Buffy (that's what I want)

Apologies, sorta, kinda, not really, to Barrett Strong.

You know what I'd like? That’s right, I’ll tell you what I’d like! A superhero movie or TV show that features female superheroes who don't look like they just stepped out of a JC Penny/Sears/Target catalog.

You know the type, nice enough looking yet bland, ultra thin and not ethnic in any way shape or form (and don't let that red/black dye job fool you). They don't look like me or anybody I've ever known. They're like Cream of Wheat with lipstick and mascara.

Mind you, it truly is tremendous² that there actually are more female superhero characters on TV now but, wouldn’t it be way awesome if more of them looked real?

 Jen, Oni and I just watched an episode of Birds of Prey.

The Batman legend takes an unexpected turn when the Caped Crusader vanishes from the crime-ridden city of New Gotham and his legacy is taken over by a trio of beautiful and relentless heroines - the Birds of Prey. Barbara Gordon started out as Batman's protege, Batgirl, but an attack by The Joker left her confined to a wheelchair. Reinventing herself as Oracle, she takes under her wing Helena Kyle, the secret daughter of Batman and Catwoman, who quickly grows into the fierce and beautiful "Huntress," and Dinah, a teenage runaway who is drawn to the city by meta-human visions. With the help of the only honest cop in New Gotham, Detective Jesse Reese, the Birds of Prey fight their first battle against a mysterious madwoman who is bent on their destruction.

Mega brill premise but ChristAlmightyOnARitzCracker, could we please have some actresses who look more than just vaguely human? Hell, my childhood Barbie dolls looked more genuinely animate!

In my new current, alternate reality Buffy is still on — the show is now all about her and her ever growing band of Slayerettes saving the world. The old show featured female superheroes AND supervillians plus a lot of the actresses actually looked like human beings too. Molto fab!

On Season 7, when Buffy was recruiting baby slayers, all the newbies were attractive but most had quirks — in looks and personality. Amongst the  Slayerettes, Amanda had a horse-ishly long face, Molly and Chao-Ahn were chubby cheeked, not rail thin and just a touch cranky. And, like real teenage girls, they were all socially awkward. Humans!

On the Buffy spin off, Angel, there was the astoundingly gorgeous, drool inspiring Cordelia Chase but there was also Fred — scary scrawny, plain, geeky and just generally a mass of insecurities.
HUMAN!

Until she was transformed into the awesome demon/goddess Ilyria. Oh yeah, with Fred as Ilyria, that show should have gone on and on and on.

Joss Whedon, where are you now!

I’d probably know the answer to that and have a new I’m-just-so-damned-addicted-to-this-show if I had a television. No, no, no this isn’t me being all oh-TV-is-the-death-of-art elitism. Goodness no. Cable costs money. The Amazing Bob and I decided not to spend our dough that way.

Can’t say we really miss it except, possibly, in baseball season.