Mister Keyes talks of how social conservatives are introducing bills (and getting them written into law in five states) which will make divorce much harder to achieve.
If divorces are tougher to obtain, social conservatives argue, fewer marriages will end. And having more married couples is not just desirable in its own right but is a social good, they say. During his presidential campaign, former senator Rick Santorum (R-Pa.) emphasized finishing high school and getting married as cures for poverty. “If you do those two things, you will be successful economically,” he declared at a 2011 event in Iowa.Because, don’cha know, it’s all JUST that simple! That is, IF you're lucky, your intended is right for you AND you have a mega-ton of support — financial and otherwise.
Keyes spoke of the evolution of the divorce process in the good ol’ U.S. of A.:
No-fault divorce has been a success. A 2003 Stanford B school study detailed the benefits in states that had legalized such divorces: Domestic violence dropped by a third in just 10 years, the number of husbands convicted of murdering their wives fell by 10 percent, and the number of women committing suicide declined between 11 and 19 percent. A recent report from Maria Shriver and the Center for American Progress found that only 28 percent of divorced women said they wished they’d stayed married.
Ms. Graham leads with this:DIVORCE IS not yet a sacrament, but in the past half-century it’s become the next-best thing: a blessed event to be celebrated at parties replete with champagne toasts and “freedom cakes.”
She feels that divorces should be MUCH harder to get. I’m guessing she believes that folks blithely file for divorce (oh, it’s Thursday and I’m bored — let’s split up) in the same way that women seek abortion (gosh, I can’t be preggers now — we’ve got that trip to Cabo planned for October and I simply MUST look good in that new Prada bikini).How's about, if "we" are to be so presumptuous as to become involved in other people's personal, private business, we make it harder to get married to begin with?
How about a one year minimum living together hurdle? Honestly, if a couple can share digs first, for at least a year, they'll get past, mebbe, the ZOMG-let's-boink-again-RIGHT-NOW infatuation phase.
Can they amicably and reasonably face the odious tasks of house and home upkeep? Can they deal with the whole family issue — not only the christ-on-toast-I-hate-your-mother stuff but the to-have-or-have-not vis a vis kiddles.
After a year you might have had to go though some piece of adversity together. Now THERE'S an awesome relationship test.
Will she/he, fer instance:
- be supportive while you're struggling with chemo and that pesky fear of an early, painful death?
- be your helpful second while you wrastle with your father's blossoming dementia and the how-to-care-for-him quandaries?
- bring you soup in bed while you're coping with the flu and depression.
- kick you in the keister when you've spent too long in bed with the big sad?
- stand with you, pay the bills, help you re-figure your resume and job hunt when your gig’s gone bye bye?
You won't necessarily know all these things after one year BUT there's a grand chance that you'll have seen the patterns, the scope of who your intended is. Has she/he slapped or pushed you in a moment of anger or peevishness? Gone missing at an important moment? Taken no interest at all in your dreams and/or struggles?
Well boyhowdy, time to rethink those wee gold shackles, eh?
The Amazing Bob and I were a red hot dealio for 16 years before we donned the mantle of wedded bliss. Jen and Oni have been together for 18 and def plan to do the marriage bit, walk down the aisle of no return but, ya know, life keeps getting in the way. Early death of parental units (Oni's), cancer, (Jen's), work hullabaloos (both of them), to say nothing of all the time and energy they put in caring and tending me and TAB (not the healthiest specimens on the planet). You know, they'll get around to it — the wedded bliss shit. Honest!
Marriage — it’s not about the gorgeous Pretty Princess dress or the huge blow out parties or that awesome honeymoon at the posh resort on Tortola. Duh.
Well boyhowdy, time to rethink those wee gold shackles, eh?
The Amazing Bob and I were a red hot dealio for 16 years before we donned the mantle of wedded bliss. Jen and Oni have been together for 18 and def plan to do the marriage bit, walk down the aisle of no return but, ya know, life keeps getting in the way. Early death of parental units (Oni's), cancer, (Jen's), work hullabaloos (both of them), to say nothing of all the time and energy they put in caring and tending me and TAB (not the healthiest specimens on the planet). You know, they'll get around to it — the wedded bliss shit. Honest!
Marriage — it’s not about the gorgeous Pretty Princess dress or the huge blow out parties or that awesome honeymoon at the posh resort on Tortola. Duh.
Want to reduce the divorce rate? Live together for a few years first.
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