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Sunday, July 12, 2015

3D and the Terminator

Every flick I've seen this summer, save one, has been in 3D. What's up with that? When did 3D become a thing again?
From National Geographic:
After having a “golden age” in the 1950s, the popularity of 3D movies died down for several decades. In the 1980s, 3D had a rebirth...
By 2009, when the movie Avatar was released, 3D had exploded back on the movie scene again.  Internationally, Avatar opened with 3,671 theaters showing the film in 3D. While many debate whether or not 3D really enhances the viewing experience or detracts from it, there is no question that we are in the second golden age of 3D.
OK then, the one film I saw that wasn't all stereoscopic-ed out, Far From the Madding Crowd coulda been way improved with 3D. Of course, that may just be my louche, philistine-ish American sensibilities.

Yesterday, Jen, Oni and I took in the 10 AM 3D showing of Terminator Genisys.
John Connor sends Kyle Reese back in time to protect Sarah Connor, but when he arrives in 1984, nothing is as he expected it to be.
For the uninitiated, Kyle Reese is John Connor’s father (John Connor AKA son of Sarah Connor/ leader of the worldwide human resistance/prime mover in the War Against the Machines). In the original movie Kyle’s sent back from the future to protect Sarah from the Terminator who's been sent back to off Sarah before she could get knocked up and spawn humanity's hero.

It's complicated.

 Kyle does his job (protecting Sarah) and dies battling the Terminator. but not until after he’s gotten our heroine up the spout.

In this new outing, the time line’s been all, extra special freaked up due to obnoxious, slatternly time travel. Who knows what we'll find when Kyle and Termi-Boy go back to the '80s now!

Sarah’s still rockin’ AND the original Terminator’s already there and reprogrammed—he’s a good guy now. So good in fact, he’s acted as Sarah’s father and trainer since she was nine. Where her birth parents went escaped me.

John Connor, the resistance hero, comes back in time too only he’s now the bad guy, sent to thwart their efforts to obliterate Skynet (the evil corporation what's bent on enslaving the human race). His gig is to off his mother which means that he'll never have been born.

Geez, this summer blockbuster required WAY too much thinking on a hot Saturday morning. Different, overlapping time lines, who’s a bad guy now, who’s good and what does all this mean? Will Kyle and Sarah get it on or is that all immaterial and shit now.

Here’s what I took from it, aside from my frustration over the immensely convoluted plot—the actor playing Kyle was utterly MEH. Facially, he was wickedly bland and he was built like a weightlifter, NOT like a wiry freedom fighter from the future. NO eye candy unless you like vaguely steroidal , whey faced beefcake.

The new Sarah? She was no Linda Hamilton BUT she was fine. My only real kvetch is that she looked, at most, 15 years old. Her acting chops were up to the job though.

The actor playing John Connor was homlied up and a little chubby. In a time when everyone’s fighting for survival how in Bast’s name did this malefactor develop a double chin? Honestly.

 The best part, and I hate like hell to say this (given his womanizing rep and politics), was Ahnold. He was funny, heroic, scary and, again, funny. Being a failed governor, reviled harasser and broke down, flopped husband seems to have done his, previously nonexistent acting chops some good.

Would I recommend seeing Terminator Genysis? If you want to escape the scorchingly, blindingly hot temps in an arctically cold cinema—shit yeah!

Otherwise, eh….only if you’re horrifically bored.

Hey, ya know what else could be improved with stereoscopics? Romeo and Juliet. Yeah that soppy piece of teenage emo-dum could be awesome. Just imagine how radically fab the fight scene where Mercutio croaks could be in 3D.


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