Florida Food

Is god mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore?

Is this, a Florida Wendy's being struck by lightening, the almighty’s judgement, the beginning of paybacks, for them serving the already portly masses a 1,090 calorie Hot 'n' Juicy 3/4 Lb. Triple burger?

Will KFC and their 790 calorie Fried Chicken Pot Pie, sizzle and pop soon?

Maybe McDonald's and its Big Breakfast Platter—1,090 calories—is the next strike target?

How about Quiznos for their sorta healthy sounding, but totes not, Large Turkey Bacon Guacamole Sub—1,300 calories just FYI.

How about Chipotles and their 1,365 calorie Carnitas Burrito

The nasty ass Burger King's Ultimate Breakfast Platter is chock full of blotated calories—1,420 of em.

Oh wait. Lookie here. Panda Express’ 3-Entree Plate with Beijing Beef, Fried Rice, Sweetfire Chicken Breast and Chow Mein (hurl) comes in at a whopping 2,150 calories. Why weren't they struck by the angry hand of god first?

As a moderately active, over 50 babe, I should be consuming NO MORE than 1800 calories per day. *sigh* Hard to do (but NOT impossible!) in this culture of excess.

Yeah, I’m back on my diet. How’d ya guess?

In other Florida "food" news:
Parents Forced Daughter to Live in Woods After Eating Pop-Tart

On first read of that headline, I thought “Wow. C’mon, she’s 14. Kids eat Pop-Tarts. They can’t be doing the kale fitters and seaweed salad ALL the damn time.” And then I read further to see that she ate a Pop-Tart without permission. The parents keep those calorie and chemical laden breakfast treats in the house—she just didn’t have, at 14, the proper parental license to consume.

HEAVENS!

The police were called and, ya know what they did? They just brought her back home! Smart boys those Sumter County coppers, eh?

The girl was sent back to the woods by those cruel, idiotic, control freak-ish, pathetic excuses for parents. Of course. The police were, once again, involved and this time they did a smidge more. All six of these miscreants' children (Hello, there’s this wonderful invention called a condom. GET SOME!) were removed. The young lady’s in protective custody while her siblings are all with grandparents.

We feel very confident that the parents were overstepping their bounds," Bunch said. "From trying to correct a child's behavior to true criminal punishment."

Gee, ya think?

Was this kid overweight and this was Mom and Dad’s diet idea? Were they unable to access the buttload of parenting mags, websites and newspaper columns which SANELY address this?

Was Florida always this full of crazies?

Meanwhile fish related food poisoning has been underreported there.

A rare toxin carried by barracuda, grouper and other locally caught sport fish sickens Floridians in greater numbers than previously believed, a new analysis suggests.

Good thing I don't eat those, eh? Also, I now have that Heart song in my head. Happily.