Hoop Jumping

A calming image on which to meditate.

I imagine most of you have been through this sort of bullshit, rigamarole already—the car insurance reps who, while very nice, just can’t deliver in any kind of a timely fashion and increase the annoyance quotient by a factor of 20 bazillion.

I had Jen read all my back and forth emails with the rep. I kept wondering, Is it me? Am I calamitously dense or is this person a poor communicator? *BING* It’s her, not me. She uses insurance industry jargon which, since I’m not an insurance worker bee, goes clean over my head. That and she consistently provides partial info when it’s not flat out misleading or fully inaccurate.

An already protracted and maddening experience made much worse than need be.

I’m sure she must think I’m a spectacular nitwit for sending email upon email requesting clarification but, well, I can’t impress the fuck outta everyone with my obvs brill qualities every day, now can I?

The last straw, the one that convinced me that it’s time to research other carriers, came yesterday. She told me that I needed to go to the Smart dealership, where my car has finally been cleared for repair. I was to obtain a form so that the insurance company can issue payment directly to them. Now, I just happened to be in Boston yesterday and by chance had a rental car. I could make the trip without it involving two buses, two subway lines and a long walk in 90º heat.

Before heading home to Valhalla, I motored across town through heinous traffic to get the paperwork she required. As it turns out, the dealership repair shop doesn’t do direct pay. *Boom* A trip for nothing. THEN she tells me that they’ve already issued the check TO ME.  Twatella, why did you have me go on this snipe hunt if you’d already mailed the check? Also, could you not call the dealership and request the form yourself? Making sport of your customer, are we?

She then tells me that I must mail it to 'the bank’ to have them sign off on it before I can deposit it in my own account. (what bank is she referring to? Mine? Ah…no) I got my service rep in the dealership's repair department to translate for me.

It comes down to this, in order to get Bix back, all fixed up and dandy, before the turn of the next century, I need to pay the repair shop out of my savings versus the insurance company check. I’ll get the money back when Mercedes-Benz financing (Mercedes owns Smart) signs off on the check and mails it back to me.

I only mention it but I’ve had car insurance through these bastids for 15 years without prior accident. They’ve made me jump though a 1,003 hoops, so far. I wonder how they treat folks who need their services more than once every 15 years.