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Wednesday, August 12, 2015

This Thing’s a Boat!

It’s the goddamned Queen Mary—no, BIGGER. It’s the Nimitz…on steroids!

Yes, I’ve got a rental car for a couple of days. Luckily, with the bus stop just up the street—much as I hate it, we don’t need a vehicle all the damn time. Turns out my rat bastid insurance doesn’t have an allowance for rental in case of accident. That might explain why the plan's so RELATIVELY inexpensive.

I seem to recall, when I first got it, considering the rental car option. Between the buckos it would add to my coverage AND the fact that opting for it felt like a jinx—I’d be inviting an accident—I declined.

In any case, I rented a Chevy Cruzesupposedly a compact. Note to car gods, please look up the word compact in the dictionary. You’re confused. The Amazing Bob and I have appointments in town over the next two days and, after the last big T adventure, it seemed the smart thing to do.

Except, I find that I'm wickedly nervous, not about driving into town but about the parking garages. How can I possibly maneuver this HMS Thunder Child of a beast in those skinny, cramped, underground caverns?

Will I bump into someone or get bumped into again? Will I scratch the rental? (Yes, I shelled out for extra insurance just in case) Will I even find a space to accommodate such a monstrously huge beast?

I asked my fav car dealer guy, Todd Whitelaw, if he knew where I could rent a Smart. Nope. I turned to Google and found that, supposedly Budget does. Huh. I’d’ve asked Jen or TAB to call the local establishment to see if they had any Smarts on hand but the closet one’s down in Braintree and not easily T accessible. Still, a call’s in order just in case. Ya know, piloting a skiff’s a lot easier than driving a fucking tank.

And yes, yez, I know. The car’s really not all that huge BUT, compared to my beloved Bix, oh yes it is! I can do this. I can drive this Nimitz of a thing into town AND park too. Really.

“It is hard to be brave, when you're only a Very Small Animal.”
~A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.”
~John Wayne

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