The Melon Report

A lovely, happy Julia Blake painting in the good Doc's waiting room.

I got the news on my recent MRI yesterday. There's been “no significant change” in the tumor up top me noggin. This means there’ll be no cutting open of the old melon this year. Yea!

Of course, given that I’m a Fussaholic and general Word Freak, I’m  still trying to parse what he meant when he said that if I was someone else, not going through all that I am, he’d recommend surgery. Huh? By going through all that I am was he referring to the fact that The Amazing Bob’s gone and I’m in 511 kinds of deep mourning? By if I was someone else did he mean if you weren’t rockin’ the big, bad Nf2 and all that entails, we’d be suiting up for some OR action this year?

On Nut Island at daybreak

Yeah…I know, I could’ve asked Doc Plotkin while I was sitting RIGHT THERE across from him but I didn’t. Why not? Eh, he said “no significant change” and “no surgery this year” and I was kinda laser happy-focused on that. Also too, I’m not any more symptomatic now over last year. Yes, my balance has been wobbly as all hell but the culprit there is my mondo sad over losing TAB. Depression effects everything.

The good doctor and I talked about what to do, what to do (yes, I love that sign!) to help. Anti-depressants? Nope, no can do – I’m allergic to those fuckers. Exercise is a great, natural mood lifter/smoother-outer but there’s that sad-effect crapped out balance to consider. It’s no good to be out for a lovely hike on a crisp autumn morn only to trip over every damn pebble in my path. Also sucks to be whizzing around on the trike, take a curve too fast and go all ass over tête. That’s happened not once but twice when I’ve triked while stressed. How’s that for a grand, fucking Catch 22. Triking chills me out beautifully BUT if I’m the Agitato Queen – and I am  right now – odds are, I’m gonna wipe out. Nae good. Nae good at all.

Nantasket orange-y dawn

He recommended that I get regular workout buddies – hikes and ride partners. Great idea BUT my friends, who live close enough to make this doable, all work during the day. My morning personhoodedness and suck-ola night vision mean that I’ve got to get up and out between 9-5.

I could join the Y but I HATE stationery bikes and treadmills. I want to breathe the beautiful sea and/or woodland air not the funk of a thousand sweaty bods plus Lysol.

So then, once more with the what to do, what to do action. For walks, I’ll stick to the Neck – mebbe up over to Nut Island for a couple laps and then home. Our beach is too rocky for a long scramble so that’s out BUT I can head down to Nantasket which is mostly flat and smoothly sandy. On the trike, I’ll also stick to the Neck, no hills though, and make with the lap action again.

This’ll help. It won’t be Excitement City, I won’t get to brag on how far I rode or what hill I climbed but neither will I break bones or otherwise fuck myself up in my quest for depressurization.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I'm such an adult.