TABday

Yesterday was the five month anniversary of the day that my astoundingly Amazing Bob left the planet. It seems like no time at all – a hummingbird’s wing beat. And it feels like forever.

What have I learned so far?

1) That people can be utter, complete shits. There’s, quite possibly, nothing more despicable than the humans who, when I was at my lowest, zoomed in like vultures impatiently waiting for me to either kick off or become so weakened that I’d give it all up to any passing predator.

a) BUT, even at my most fragile and wobbly, I’m strong. Way. Survival – it's my super pwer.
b) I can forgive and even come to understand a person’s motivations for behaving in such a callous, rapacious, cold-blooded and altogether selfish manner. That I can forgive and comprehend – shocking, no? I learn my lessons well though and make sure the person can't damage me again.

I’d rather be alone than surrounded by avaricious jackals.

2) There are so many brilliantly, wonderful, caring, helpful folk. I’m so damn lucky to know or just come across so many.

Jen and Oni were away this past weekend. I found myself experiencing a bit of panic. The only other time they’ve been away since TAB tossed off this mortal coil, Helen and fam were here with me. Afraid to be alone? Yeah, a little bit. I miss my brilliant man so damn much.

It’s not as though I’m ALWAYS over at J&O's. Nope. Just knowing they’re right there is très comforting though.

Before they left, Jen called my friend Paula (she's my boss too!), gave her the skinny and asked her to check in on me. How thoughtful!!! Paula texted more than a few times, even stopped by AND invited me to stay overnight at her place (just a mile away). I've got some seriously, fabuloso considerate chums!

I may be strong BUT it’s nice to be cared for so’s I don’t NEED to be all superwoman all the bleedin' time.

Some snippets of TAB poems, found in a discarded notebook:

You could walk away from my disengagement
And my low rent, so called space-agement
And yet, so far, you’ve stayed
~~~~~~~~~~~~

She doesn’t remind me what
    A fossil I am
With personality
    So much like a clam

It remains our own secret
    The times we’ve been through
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A destination
    Is a launch pad
    For a next destination.
A next destination
    Is a place people arrive at
    Yawning and blinking, walking around
    And saying Where the fuck are we?
~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Arguers – these are people who go on and on and, therefore, never get to finish a sentence. Nor are they likely to let other endless Arguers finish a sentence

Favorite opening word of Arguers: "Clearly"

Arguers Heaven? A place they go where everyone agrees to disagree – minimum of twice an hour.

Arguers Hell? A place where people say things like:
So what
Who cares
Fuck you
Big deal
Ooga Booga
OK
Me too
No shit
Whatever
Gotta go