I didn’t pop the lens in all week because my eye was red and it hurt. As it happens, counterintuitively (fer yurs truly) I SHOULD’VE worn it. The damn thing protects my weak-ass orb and shit. I’m now on antibiotic drops on top of my usual antibiotic goop, (which I can’t ever manage to pronounce so I just refer to it as my Eurythmics med which makes sense to me. I’ve always found their music très soothing).
This is all complicated by my vicious shakes (the docs call ‘em tremors) – more fun nerve damagey side effects from prior surgery. Putting my lens in is a challenge to say the least. Its even MORE of a challenge if I’m nervous. Putting this potentially orb saving lens in smoothly and successfully makes me nervous. Of bleedin’course!
I triumphed this morning at the ol’ mega Stress City lens insertion.YEA me! How’d I manage to pull this awesome fete off? In part it was due to a wonderful, happy dream. My eye was no longer red – it had healed completely during the night. It actually hadn’t BUT I decided to see this as a joyous portent. Next, I began a half dozen rounds of deep, yoga breathing. AND I tried to come up with a visual to focus my bean on.
You might think this is weird and unhelpful BUT this also calms me down – I consider the worst that could happen. In this case, if the scratch on my headlight don’t heal, my eye’ll be sewn shut. Yes, being one-eyed will NOT be cause for celebration but I CAN have fun with it. Oh yes I can!
Also too, I’m not dead yet and where there’s life there’s hope (and fun!). I’m thinking about my friend Michie, a fellow deaf Nf2-er and painter. She lost the use of her pins a couple years ago but that hasn’t gotten in the way of her enjoying the hell outta life. She rolls around Portland (Maine), taking fab pics, goes out to sleek nightspots with pals and, just generally, LIVES it up.
I can do this!
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