Weepy Day

I had a hard, weepy, motherfucking day yesterday. Warum? I recently started new meds to calm down my essential tremors. That’s the shit where I shake like Michael J. Fox.

FYI – he has Parkinson’s disease (PD). I have essential tremor (ET).

ET generally presents bilaterally and is primarily seen during action, such as when writing or eating, or when holding a posture, for example, when holding an object against gravity. On the other hand, parkinsonian tremor most often presents unilaterally and later progresses to include both sides of the body. PD tremor most commonly occurs at rest, when the body part is relaxed and not in use, but can also be seen in the postural position, often referred to as reemergent tremor.

ET most commonly affects the hands, legs, head, and voice, and tremor is the primary symptom of ET. In PD, the cardinal symptoms include bradykinesia, rigidity, tremor, and gait/balance issues. (source)

The new ’script has a sedative effect. While in this horrifying time of trump, I had initially thought this tranquilizing shit would be welcome but NOOOOOO. It’s been making my physical therapy and cardio exercising a definite challenge. That exercising? TOTALLY necessary so’s I can stay upright and reasonably mobile. For Bast’s sake, I’ve been taking hour long naps every day, like a toddler.

What to do? I’m cutting back on the med. Will it still chill my shaking if I take less of it? Dunno //shrugs// Also, I’m looking into physical therapy responses – meditations and distractions.

In any case, being in such a heightened (lowered? depressed?) state of fatigue makes me a bit more emotional about the news…if that’s actually possible.

Let’s start with that plantation in Louisiana burning down. ALL those fucking plantations – they're totems to a disgusting era of legalized ownership, torture, and murder of fellow human beings. They should be burnt to the ground OR turned into educational museums as with Auschwitz.

Nottoway has been used as a big money making resort, conference center, wedding site, general event center, and party place since the early ‘80s. Can you even imagine?

Who the fuck gets married on a a plantation? That’s some truly sick shit. Would you plan your nuptials, the start of your new life at the scene of so much torture, suffering, imprisonment, and death? Would you have a destination wedding at Mauthausen? Xinjiang? Wounded Knee? Sand Creek?

Some fires cleanse more than they destroy.

And then I read about Adriana Smith, the woman whose brain died but her body's being kept “alive” because she was nine weeks pregnant at the time of her death. In Georgia a fetus has more rights than the woman who carries it. Her body is no more than an incubator.

April Newkirk said her 30-year-old daughter, Adriana Smith, began experiencing intense headaches in early February. Smith was nine weeks pregnant at the time with her second child, NBC affiliate WXIA-TV of Atlanta reported.

Smith sought treatment at Northside Hospital but was released and given medication, Newkirk told the station. Newkirk said the hospital did not run any tests or scans.
~~~
A day after seeking treatment, Smith’s boyfriend woke up to find her gasping for air and making gargling noises, Newkirk told WXIA.

Smith was rushed to Emory Decatur and then transferred to Emory University Hospital, where a CT scan showed multiple blood clots in her brain, the news station reported.

Newkirk told the news station that her daughter was declared brain-dead and has “been breathing through machines for more than 90 days.” (source)

According to Georgia law, the poor woman can’t rest in peace until the fetus can live outside her brain-dead body. Is the development of new life purely a mechanical function? Is the mother’s sentience unnecessary? Can an emotionally healthy baby be grown in a tank? How is the mother’s mechanized bodily functions effecting the fetus? Why is the family having to pay for the state’s science experiment?

Women who live in states with tiny dicked, misogynistic, and utterly pathetic, cold reproductive laws should all get their baby bits tied off until they can vote out all the rabidly insecure, viagra addicted, control freaking man-babies.

So yeah, yesterday was weepy. Tears of joy over the long overdo destruction of an obscenely glorified slave labor camp and tears of horror at Adriana’s vile misuse.

You can't kill your way to security and you can't lead by scaring people.
~ Bruce Springsteen