Dogs with Guns

A dog “accidentally” shot a woman with a shotgun.

According to Scottsbluff police, the owner of the truck had pulled into the convenience store….The dog triggered a shotgun that had a live shell in the chamber, causing the firearm to discharge. (source)

The victim, a woman, was in a car stopped at a traffic light when the dog shot her. Her injuries were thought to be non-life-threatening. FYI, this is Nebraska – Scotts Bluff County is seriously Republican. They’re so right wing, they probably gave that dog a medal and extra treats for shooting a woman.

Here in the US, even our pets are gun happy loons. This is why we don't keep firearms in our house in Valhalla. Bast only knows what Cake, Skitter or Walter would do if their dinner was late.

Couple of black bears walked up to a Sparta, New Jersey home. One rang the doorbell with its nose. The news article does not mention whether these bears were Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, door-to-door solar salesmen, greasy GOP canvassers or ICE goons hunting for prey.

New Jersey Fish and Wildlife said black bear sightings have been reported in all of the state's 21 counties. Residents are urged to prevent encounters with the animals by securing food, trash and any odors that might entice them. (source) 

The bears eventually left, without the door being answered. Possibly these were just nice, neighborly bears who were looking to make new friends and maybe borrow a cup a honey? 

Just FYI, black bears are generally shy and avoid humans. I certainly would if I could. While they are capable of killing people (as, presumably, am I), the last time that happened in New Hampshire (just fer instance – they have a big-ass population), was back in 1784. That’s so long ago, by then Trump had only filed for bankruptcy once or twice.

A lone emu was found wandering along the road in Duson, Louisiana. What the fuck? Why was this poor emu out on its own? Emus are social beasties AND May is mating month. Love is in the air and shit.  Shouldn’t this bird be somewhere making the beast with two backs (or however they do it)? You know, making little baby emus?

By the by, these giant, flightless babes have an interesting repro/family practice.

For most birds, producing an egg is just the start of a female’s parental duties, which include tending to the eggs and, depending on species, possibly feeding and caring for the hatchlings. Not so for emus: Once the female lays the eggs, her responsibilities to the brood are complete—but a male emu’s work is just beginning.
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Tending the nest is a huge investment for an emu dad. He rarely eats or drinks during this time, and can lose up to half his body weight, says Ryeland. (source) 

The expectant daddies incubate the eggs – an eight week period, turning them as much as 10 times a day. He survives on stored body fat and any morning dew he can reach from the nest. Talk about dedication! What’s mom doing? Some stay and defend the nest until the chicks start hatching but most head out to find a fresh mate and a new nest. They don’t waste the short mating season on just one dude.

Imagine how different the world would be if humans were like this.

On a slightly different note – have you heard about the Emu War of 1932? This was a short, unsuccessful military operation in Australia.

Three members of the Royal Australian Artillery were assigned to cull roughly 20,000 emus using machine guns, but both the weapons and tactics employed proved wholly unsuited for the task. The assignment was made in response to petitions from local farmers complaining of emus destroying their crops. After two months, fewer than 1,000 emus were reported killed. The failure was the subject of national and international ridicule. (source) 

The soldiers opened fire – the birds scattered. They were not the easy targets the army had taken them for.

It soon became clear that one emu in each group served as a lookout to warn the others, giving them time to escape. Meredith stated publicly that the emus could “face machine guns with the invulnerability of tanks.” Such statements made military action against the emus increasingly unpopular, with opponents arguing that such treatment of emus was inhumane. (source) 

The army was persistent but, ultimately, the emus won.

I’m pretty much always gonna be on the side of the beasties. Maybe not the ones in any of the Alien movies though. That sheep and the other creatures in Alien Earth make the xenomorph and face huggers seem positively quaint.