Haircut Girl and Spockitude

Got my hair cut the other day. It's short. VERY! I'm loving it. Yes, it'd look better just a bit less crew cutty – OK, possibly a LOT less fresh cut lawn-ish but HEY it's MY mop and I'll do what I want. K?

The hair I SHOULD have

I like that, when it's just an inch long all over, it stands straight up. This is as close to volume as I'll ever get. This is also as near to my beloved Afros as I'll ever rock. I've written of my desire for a full on Diana Ross circa '68 Afro, have I not? Yeah we all want shit we can't have. I also wanna be thin and lithe like Jen.

 //shrugs//

What'd I get instead of natural big hair? I'm ALMOST 60 (15 days to go!) and don't have even one filament, not a single hairsickle of white. Nope, not one.

Clearly, back in the god rooms of 1958, when I was being conjured up, some fuckweasel angel figured "eh, this one's a chick. Prolly, more than anything, wouldn’t be keen on the hag look when she gets on in years. We’ll give her dark hair but that means no hearing after 46 and she gets weak-ass bunny fur – no 'fro. It’s a fair trade – think of how much she'll save on hair dye! She'll thank us big time.”

Angels – they can be SUCH dimwitted, obtuse, fucking tools.

Word for the day:
Hagridden
adjective
worried or tormented by a witch

Stupid angels thought I’d be all hagridden at the prospect of grey hair. Stupit angels.

~~~

This just popped up on my ShoutyFace page with the debauched/funny tag Rock out with your Spock out – Vulcan earbuds! Damn these are mega awesome. Obvs these’d be as useful to me as a rain hat on a guppy BUT wouldn’t it be fab city if my hearing aid looked like this?

I’d need the ears in a good color though. Deep lavender maybe or cerulean blue.

Cool?

Beige is so lame. It's a snoozetastically dull and utterly pointless hue unless of course you're braying loud and proud that you are criminally soporific. Describe an object as beige colored and you’ve essentially damned it as THE most numbingly mundane, duller-than-dirt example of whatever it might be.

It could be a ‘75 Lamborghini Countach but…in beige? I’m sorry you’ll have to knock a mill off the price OR take it for a quick visit to your local Maaco if you hope to sell.

Call it fawn though. Liken the hue to a sweet, young deer and you invoke cool, sleek nubility. If you’re trying to unload that car to a dude? Call it faun and raise the sexy specter of libidinous forest spirits out to seduce.

Emmm, as long as I'm getting my Spock on (and I am), I leave you with a few of his wisdom words:

• Insufficient facts always invite danger.
• In critical moments, men sometimes see exactly what they wish to see.
• Where there is no emotion, there is no motive for violence.

Also too:

• Live long and prosper.